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Thursday, August 12, 2010

Parent-Teacher Conference

The craziest thing I ever got into trouble for as a youngster was LISTENING. I know, it's crazy. My parents were horrible. While all other parents are hollering at their kids to used the two ears that the good Lord gave 'em, my parents were punishing me for using mine.

Background information: I am in 2nd grade, and my mother has been called for a parent teacher conference with Ms. Jones (not her real name). My family lives in a really small town in the north west. My father is the plant superintendent at an oil refinery. We eat dinner at the kitchen table EVERY night and talk, talk, talk.

Ms. Jones: Mrs. Mom, Lesley is doing great in her class work. She needs to work a little more on her math facts, and cursive writing, but she's right on track and doing well.

Mrs. Mom: Oh, great. She loves school and we will continue working on these things at home. (blah, blah, blah)

Ms. Jones: By the way, I have a question. How did Lesley find out that I am living with my boyfriend and that we are unmarried?

Mrs. Mom: *gulp* Umm....

Ms. Jones: The reason why I'm asking is because Lesley has been telling all the kids on the playground these things, and we're basically sinners to the worst degree. How would she know that I am living with my boyfriend?

Mrs. Mom: *GULP* (I'm sure that my mother was doing some pretty fancy footwork at this point in the conversation)

Ms. Jones: And, by the way, Lesley has been cussing like a sailor on the playground. She's been using the "F word" in every variation imaginable.

The rest of the dialogue is somewhat unclear because at this point in the "recap" (screaming rant) my mom has completely LOST her cool and is suffering from the most severe case of humiliation imaginable, at the hands of little old me. She was FURIOUS. No wait, that's an understatement. My mother was a red zone case in Cesar Milan's terminology.

And just to clarify - YES, I was totally correct about Ms. Jones. She was living with her boyfriend and they were unmarried. My dad had come home from work one night, was "talking shop" at the dinner table with my mother about a dude at work. How dude's girlfriend was a teacher, her first name was **** (same as my teacher's name), and there were a few other minor details discussed that added up with what I already knew about Ms. Jones. I started connecting the dots...things started falling into place....and VOILA! I had gossip so scandalous and juicy in the world of 8 year olds, that everyone (well, a few friends) were arguing to see who could sit next to me at lunch.


Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop
Prompt #4 - The craziest reason I ever got in trouble as a child.
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Shelley said...

Wow, that's quite a story! I was always so curious to know more about my teachers personal lives too!

Cecelia Winesap said...

Awesome. I totally would have spread that info around, too.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha.. That story is hilarious.. I understand your mom's humiliation, but maybe they shouldn't have discussed those kind of things in front of you? I don't know how you would expect a child not to repeat the things they hear.
Stopped in from Mama Kat's.

Anonymous said...

Haha! That's too funny! I probably would have done the same thing. Great post!

Stopping by from Mama Kat's!

Lesley said...

Well, I was the oldest child, so until this little incident it may not have even crossed their minds. LOL. You can bet your bottom dollar that it was VERY clear when certain conversations were "for the dinner table only". Too funny! Little ears make life interesting even in the simplest of conversations. :)

Melissa B. said...

Oh, my! I do the same with my high school students. Just sit by sometimes, taking in everything they have to say-the good, the bad, and the ugly. I'm SURE my snooping made me a better parent when my own two hit high school age!

Jennifer said...

This story just doesn't get old! It's awesome! I never had such great dirt on my teachers.. that's why you were the cool cousin. ;-)

The Ninja said...

LMAO!! Little kids have very large ears. It's a fact. Just ask my kids.