I'm up at the butt crack of dark, browsing solutions on the Internet, and feeling like complete loser. Although that is just wishful thinking, because I am actually a successful GAINER.
I've managed to gain back all of the weight that I worked so hard to lose a couple years ago. I've let poor self esteem, horrible eating habits, our on-the-go lifestyle, and an addiction to high calorie foods sneak back in and take the driver's seat. These thoughts roll around in my head constantly, and my internal dialogue is always that "I'm going to do better". At different points in my life I've been better about disciplining myself and dropping the weight, but after existing in about ten years of chunkiness, the reality is that it's not just going to go away.
It's easy to look at the people around me and say, "Well, they're more successful because they've *fill in the blank*, but I *insert limitation here*". Regrettably though, as the scale continues to gradually climb, I must acknowledge that it isn't someone else getting on that scale every morning.....IT'S ME.
I've got to get my shit together.
I've got to overcome my own issues.
I've got to quit thinking that I'll always be fat.
I've got to pay attention to myself instead of comparing myself to others.
I've got to.
