Secret Santa Shop

After not blogging for seven long months I've decided to jump back in the saddle, but only in baby steps. HERE GOES NOTHIN'!!!

Yesterday when the kids got home from school, they were heavy laden with gifts a'plenty for the whole family. Every Christmas, their school has this thing called the "Secret Santa Shop" where kids can go and purchase relatively inexpensive gifts for their family or friends. Five dollars can go a long way, or only buy one thing, but the kids get to manage how they spend their own money. After opening one of the gifts that Abby got me, (because she can't stand to waiting until Christmas for anyone to open up their gifts) she started to tell me about her shopping experience and this was the highlight:

Abby walks up to where I'm sitting, leans over the arm of my comfy chair and says, "Mom! So today when I was shopping they had this really cool '#1 Sister' water bottle that was REALLY awesome, and I REALLY wanted, but it was $7.00 and I didn't have enough money to get everything for everybody else. So I had to put it back."

Not quite sure about this, I asked the obvious, "Why would you get something that says '#1 Sister' if you don't even have a sister?"

"Because I'm a really great sister and I wanted it!" *all smiles*

HAHAHAHA!!! Then, as a bonus, she proceeded to tell me about her conversation with the checkout lady in an Australian voice!

Seriously, who is this child?

RSVP's - Are They A Thing Of The Past? You Decide

Abby's birthday is smack dab in the middle of December, which is both, fabulous and horrible, all at the same time. So in an effort to escape the madness of trying to throw a birthday party during the middle of holiday season, we've made a tradition of celebrating her birthday on the weekend directly after Thanksgiving. It's just easier that way.

Of our three kids, Abby is the one who begins planning next year's party immediately after she finishes opening her birthday presents at this year's birthday party. She LOVES to celebrate the beginning of another fabulous year with her friends. After all, who doesn't like a great party, right?

This year she has chosen to throw her bash at a local joint with inflatables galore. You know, the kind with inflatable mazes, inflatable slides, bounce houses, etc. It has been a breeze to arrange the party - made a few phone calls, picked up a cake, and have drinks in a cooler waiting to be iced down. Ahhhh....bliss! Minimal work, and the party is set to go? BONUS.

My only gripe is that we have received RSVP's on about HALF of the invitations that were sent out. WTF?!? Isn't it proper etiquette to respond if a response has been requested?!?

Have we, as a society, regressed to the point that responding to an RSVP request has become a trivial inconvenience and unimportant? We're only talking about making a phone call here people! Nothing more than sending an email, making a quick call, or even a firing off a text message. It's not like you have to solve the health care debacle or bring our troops home from Afghanistan!!

It's also much easier for us to respond now, than it was for our predecessors in the early 20th century. We don't have the burden of sending one of our children or field hands into town advising Maude that the brood of unruly heathens will be attending their barn raising next weekend, along with a heaping plate of fried yard bird to share, of course. (yard bird = chicken)

Here are some good ideas of ways to decline an invitation, if you need some help:

• I can't come because I have a bit of a tummy bug, and every time I throw up, I shit my pants at the same time. It's kinda like a shart...somewhere in between a shit and a fart. Grab an adult diaper and a raincoat then, cuz your invitation has just been REVOKED!
• We probably shouldn't....my son has thick green snot oozing out of his nose and a croupy cough. No Vap-O-Rub or cough drops in these goody bags....NEXT!
• We'll be driving back from the camp ground and will probably smell like a wildebeest. This is not a name-that-smell party...catcha next time!
• Your daughter didn't come to my daughter's party. Oh, so we're playing the tit-for-tat game, eh? I get it. Move along now.
• I'm in the process of alphabetizing my recipe cards according to the Dooey Decimal System. You're lame. You shouldn't be at my party anyway.
• If I'm out too late one of the other "Sister Wives" will call dibs on my designated night with Kody. *gagging like I have a hairball*
• We have a prior engagement. Simple. To the point. Flawless.

Bottom line: If someone sends you an invite that requests an RSVP....for the love of all that is Holy, RESPOND!

When The Tooth Fairy FAILS

The Tooth Fairy that visits our house is, shall we say, "challenged".

After countless mishaps and blunders, we have adopted a procedure, of sorts, to try and avoid the awkward morning moments when everyone exchanges the sad looks of disappointment. "She forgot again?" Yeah, THAT look.

The procedure goes like this:

1. The tooth falls out
2. Everyone gets really excited
3. The tooth NEVER goes upstairs, but rather is placed in an OBVIOUS location on the kitchen counter.
4. Children go to sleep with visions of mucho bucks dancing in their heads
5. Said children awaken the next morning to find that "mucho bucks" actually only means $1
6. Everyone gets really excited
7. Procedure repeats itself as the next tooth falls out

On the Friday before Halloween, Abby lost a tooth that she had been patiently waiting on to fall out. This was super exciting! We squeeled with excitement! We hugged, hooted and hollered! Then, she put her tooth on the counter (just as the procedure dictates) and waited.

The next morning we discovered that there had been no exchange. The tooth was still there, not mucho bucks. In an effort to dumb it down for the tooth fairy, she put her tooth in her special "Tooth Fairy" box and put it out on the counter. Again.

And once again, when she woke up Halloween morning, Abby found that there had STILL been no exchange. Who hires these losers?!?! So, in a last ditch effort, she decided that a note to the Tooth Fairy was in order. This is what she wrote:

Tooth Fairy pleace take my

tooth. it is in the big tooth

this is what it

looks like

(drawing of tooth) open it

Needless to say, the Tooth Fairy made the exchange that night. Finally.

The only thing that I could think of to console my daughter's dashed expectations of the loser Tooth Fairy? "I bet she's been a little confused, Abby. She's probably trying to figure out where the REAL teeth are versus all of the fake vampire teeth that kids have out on their dressers for their costumes this year."

Nice, huh?

Linking up with Wordful Wednesday over at pBd

Wordful Wednesday: Halloween

Has Nacho Libre gone to the dark side?

NO!!! It's Nacho Cheese!!

Nacho Cheese practicing his awesome ninja moves....

lest some unsuspecting fool try to sabotage his trick-or-treat bag.

Ghoulish Vampiress

Here's my ghoul....standing still long enough for her

silly mother to snap a picture or two. "Oh Mom!"

Hope your Halloween was a blast, too!

Linking up with Wordful Wednesday

The Other Side of the Coin

Our boys are thrill seekers and rambunctious, random comedians. The flip side of this nail biting roller coaster we have a wonderful daughter. She's dramatic, pre-hormonal, creative and moody, but she is our sweet buttercup....our baby girl.

Lately, there is drama on Abby's mind every time she walks in the door from school. There's a tale about someone who was mean to her on the playground, or someone who was not listening to the teacher again (eyes rolling and head bobbing for emphasis), and/or someone who just thinks that they are cooler than she is.... AS IF?!? And so it goes, that as this tender morsel of feminine youth develops into her own "self" I often wonder how she will handle herself when she is out there in the real world....and I'm NOT THERE WITH HER!?!

Will she be a leader or a follower?

What kind of friends will she choose?

Will she sit on the sidelines, or stand on a chair in the middle of the room and lip sync the latest hits while her friends sing back-up?

Will she be the tutor, or the tutored?

Will she set a good example for others, or be the kid that the other mothers scowl and whisper about under their breath?

I want her to be a spit-fire who knows who she is. A girl who won't take any guff off of boys who just want another dumb girl who will be lead around by the nose. I want her to be independent, not dependent. I want her to be fun and silly when it's time to have fun, but respectful and have poise when the occasion presents itself. She needs to respect authority, but not be afraid to push the limits when her honor, integrity, or rights are in jeopardy.

As I was going through some of my older "back shelf" emails the other day (you know, the ones that you skim over but don't really read until much later), I clicked on an email containing pictures of a Girl Scout event that Abby had attended in our area. As I was scrolling through the pictures I was pleasantly surprised at what I saw! Little Miss Personality was laughing, hugging, playing, crafting, whispering, listening, smiling, participating.....she was AWESOME! It was a treat to see her candid personality unveiled. She was vibrant, fun, and the life of the party!

And a BIG gold star goes to the mother of this awesome young lady!

Why, THANK YOU!

Saturday Morning Silliness

Abby with one of her very favorite BFFs.

After a late night, followed by a sleepover, these two woke up ready to take on the world.

...more giggles and funny stories to share.

When I uploaded the photos from my camera this morning, these pix really stood out to me. I remember how much fun it was to have sleepovers, stay up as late as we possibly could, and eat junk food. LOTS of junk food!

Great memories!

Skid Marks, a Sharpie, and Other Ramblings

Lately I feel uninteresting, overwhelmed by motherhood, and seems to have a mild case of writer's block. Therefore, rather than force myself to write something that I am not behind 100%, I thought I would share some random conversations between my children and I.

Enjoy!

~~~

Sunday we were driving with just the boys in the car, and we were talking about clothes that we needed to get/replace before long.

Me: Lucas, we are going to have to go through and weed out some of your underwear, dude. You've got a bunch of drawers with some nasty skids and some holes in 'em.

Lucas: (without missing a beat) Well, it's cuz I fart!

....can't argue with that logic.

~~~

This afternoon when she came home from school:

Abby: Momma, guess what?!

Me: What?

Abby: *BEAMING* Today my teacher gave me a brand new Sharpie to keep in my school box!!

Me: Really? What color is it?

Abby: It's baby blue and it's brand new! I brought it home in my backpack so that I could use it a little bit. YAY!! I love new Sharpies!!!

Yep, she's mine all right. The only thing that could have made her day any better would've been if the teacher had given her a pink spiral notebook to go along with it. I'm so proud!

~~~

Last weekend Lucas had a falling out with one of the boys on our block, When he came in crying to tell Richard about it, this is how it went down:

Lucas: *emotionally tells his dad about the incident between he and a friend*

Richard: Well did you hit him back?

Lucas: NO.

Richard: You are going to have to start learning to stand up for yourself rather than running inside and fussing about it everytime. He shouldn't have ****ed you, but next time you need to punch him back, and make it count!

Lucas dries his tears up and goes back outside to play. As a protective mother bear precautionary measure, I decided to follow him out and read a book while keeping an eye on things. After about 10min I could see that Lucas is still pretty worked up and agitated, so I ask him what was up.

Lucas: I'm waiting for **** to come back outside so that I can beat him up!

Me: WHAT?!?

Lucas: Well dad said to hit him back next time, so that's what I'm gonna do!

Me: Well, I don't think your dad meant for you to come out and settle the score after the fact, he means for you not to take crap WHEN someone hurts you.

Lucas: Well that's what I'm gonna do! I'm not taking crap!

I marched back into the house and let Richard know that he needed to get himself outside PROMPTLY, and clarify the "ass kicking policy" before we had an even bigger problem on our hands... Nice.

~~~

The oldest can't seem to understand why I am not "on board" with letting him roaming aimlessly around his girlfriend's neighborhood on Halloween night. I mean really, they're "just going for a walk in the woods".

Now that I think about it, I'm starting to seem a little uptight to myself, too! I mean, it would make total sense to just let my hormonal-almost-driving-age teenager walk in the woods with boobies and groping hands, right? And surely letting them go unattended (unless you consider the other COUPLE of teenagers as chaperons) makes even more sense. They are teenagers, after all, and know more than we (the parents) do. Right!? Or do I just have it bass-ackwards again? I don't know. I might need a little help on this one.

Can I use my life line, Meredith?

~~~

Life's Just Not The Same After Kids

Prompt #1 - A list of things you no longer have in common with your single/childless friends...and why you love them anyways.

1. I buy my clothes for function rather than fashion.
2. Catching projectile vomit in your hands isn't gross, it's a skill that accomplishes two things at once - reduces the amount of clean-up required, and increases eye/hand coordination.
3. Air freshener in the bathroom isn't just to cover the smell of a stinky poo...it also helps to mask the odor created by boys that have problems AIMING.
4. Sanity is relative.
5. iCarley is a little more entertaining as time passes. Sad, I know.
6. My kitchen table isn't set with a centerpiece, placemats, chargers, and napkin rings anymore. It has paint, scratches, dried syrup, and marker stains on it...and I like it that way.
7. My DVD drawer has more kid DVD's than adult movies. And by "adult" I mean PG-13 and R....not porn.
8. Baby wipes are like a happy package of magic no matter how old my kids get...not just for baby shower gifts.
9. My idea of a clean car was flushed down the toilet when Conner started drinking from a sippy cup and there was enough food under the seat to feed a third world country.
10. Cooking dinner is rarely an option, it's a requirement.
11. This weekend I washed 2 loads of darks, 1 load of neutrals, 1 load of whites, 1 load of reds, 1 load of towels only, 1 load of green/blues, and 2 loads of sheets. Beat THAT, Single Sally!
12. My ass. The kids did this to me. Honestly, they did.
13. Saving money is usually short term rather than long term. What I save inevitably goes towards Christmas gifts, upcoming plans, or for the kid's birthdays.
14. Richard says that I have "mom hair", but I really don't give a rip. I can put it in a ponytail, up in a clip, or blow it out. FUNCTION is the name of my game, and I need something easy.
15. My carpet stains tell a story of our life with growing children...spilled syrup, sippy cups, markers, playing with make-up, etc.

Some days I envy the quiet, solitude, cleanliness, leisure, and uninterrupted lifestyle that others have. But then my redhead barges into the room crying because he fell off of his bike. Or Abby adds ANOTHER item to the list of things that she wants to have at her birthday party (that she's been planning for 9 months so far). Or Conner tells me that he has a project due tomorrow for a major grade...and everything is how it should be.

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My Mismatched Missy

Who'da thunk it?! A pair of mismatched socks are currently the prized item in Abby's wardrobe right now. It's almost too bizarre to wrap my head around, to be honest. When I saw these funkadelic lovelies in the shop I instantly fell in love with them, but almost passed on the purchase because my girl is soooo particular about certain aspects of clothing......matching, in particular.

More times than I can even stomach, I have gone through Abby's closet and drawers only to find clothes that she "loved so much" when we're in the store, but got no love once we got them home. It. Makes. Me. FURIOUS. My money tree hasn't been producing at the rate it was, so when I see spent money NOT going to use? Yeah, it kinda chaps my arss. I held my breath when I pulled them out of the bag, and to my surprise she LOVED them!

The "Terrific Trio" each wore a pair of crazy socks to school on Friday...

On Saturday we washed them and she wore them to a friend's birthday party...

She ended up spending the night with her friend after the party. And to my suprise, when we met up with them Sunday morning at church she had them on AGAIN! LOL (a picture from Saturday, but too cute not to post)

I couldn't be happier that she's so in love with the socks....but starting to think that we might need to invest in a few more pairs? Hey, at least he's not into tube tops and tramp-stamps at the age of eight, right!?! Things could always be a whole lot worse. HAHAHAHA!!

*****

The Definition of Quiet

quiet \qui"et\ verb

1. the quality or state of being quiet, or in repose; as an hour or a time of quiet.

2. freedom from disturbance, noise, or alarm; stillness; tranquillity; peace; security. and join with thee, calm peace and quiet.

3. silent, noiseless; peaceful, tranquil; still, lacking activity; speaking very little

This is what I am listening to right now....quiet. No one is talking. The TV is off. No action figures have come alive and are seeking to take over the universe this afternoon. Rock Band is on hiatus. The chitter chatter of little voices is missing. Ahhhh..... Silence IS golden. Anyone who says otherwise is a LIAR!

Abby was so excited to see all of her friends and walk to school with them this morning. She practically BOUNCED down the stairs, fully dressed, and ready to have her hair done. This happy girl is the one I love to see in the mornings, instead of the snarling, moody diva who just can't find the right clothes to wear.

Lucas, on the other hand, said, "I don't think this is going to be a very good year" as we were almost to the front doors of the school. One of the boys in his class whines a lot, apparently. As far as he is concerned, the jury is still out on whether 2nd grade will even be worth waking up for....his teacher will have her hands full with Mr. Cynical.

And then there's Conner...oh, Conner. I thought that this was going to be a piece of cake - no big deal sending him off to high school. I think that watching him get into his dad's car to go to school may have been equally as difficult for me to watch as his first day of Kindergarten, if that's even possible. I maintained my composure all morning, but when I took Abby to her class (her teacher was also Conner's 3rd grade teacher) it happened....I. Broke. Down. I was "that mom". You know, the one who becomes a boo-hooing puddle of snot and mascara? Yep, that one. It was a horrible display of raw, my-baby-has-grown-up, and where-did-the-years-go emotion. If the classroom cameras were rolling, someone will get a good laugh later!

Oh, the roller coaster of emotion that parents ride. Good grief!

*****

What do get when you combine GAS and SLUSHES?

On Tuesday we stopped to get gas on our way back home from dropping Conner off in Missouri. (We didn't do a local summer camp this year.) Anyway, we decided to stop and address several issues at the same time...a bathroom break, fill up on gas, stretch our legs for a minute, AND to get a Sonic slush. As we were pulling into the station (a combo Shell/Sonic) the back seat conversation went down like this:

Lucas: "Hey Abb, what kind of slush are you gonna get?"

Abby: "I don't know. Prob'ly watermelon. What are you gonna get?"

Lucas: "Hey Abb, we're gonna get gas AND slushes." (he forgot to answer what flavor as soon as the crude, silly humor was triggered in his brain)

Abby: "Slushes and GAS?" *snicker*

Lucas: "GASSY SLUSHES!!!" *giggle*

Abby: "Slushes that GIVE US GAS!!!" *roaring laughter*

The chuckling and silly comments continued until we were separated by the Men's and Women's restrooms, respectively. I could even hear Lucas lauging to himself while he was taking care of business and I was outside the door! HAHAHAHA!!

Random kid humor is goooood stuff!


*****

Happy Hour!

How can I say "no" when Abby gives her I-can't-take-any-more-of-this-nonsense look, and says, "Can we pleeeease go to happy hour today, Momma?" It's as though she's channeling her future 35ish year old self. The self that has kids, a job, housework begging for attention, wishing for a nap, and she just needs an escape.... Or maybe those are just my sentiments that I see mirrored on her face? I don't know, but Happy Hour at the Sonic Drive-In is fixin' to make my afternoon!!

Make mine a Route 44 Cherry Limeade with extra lime, pretty please?


*****

Yearbook 411

(This installment could also be titled, "Boys vs. Girls")

Lastnight, as I was going through the kids' backpacks and sorting through the year-end piles of "send home" workbooks and papers, Abby pulled out her yearbook. Since the yearbooks had just been distributed the same day, she was dying to sit and methodically examine every page. It was fun to see all of the great photos of school activites and all of their cute little friends. As we were going through each grade, from 4th to Kinder, I also got a play by play of the "who's who" at our elementary school. The following were some of my favorites...

"**** and **** are my bestest friends EEEEEVER."

"She thinks that she is so great, but she is really mean, and no one likes her."

"He is nice."

"She was soooo mean to ****, and s0 I am not friends with her anymore either."

"I love her hair."

"She moved to another school."

"I like to play with her at recess."

"He is reeeeally bad and gets in trouble all of the time."

"I want to play with her this summer."

"She used to be friends with ****, but NOT anymore."

"He is super smart."

"Lucas looks so silly [in this picture]."

"She always asks me to buy her a cookie at the cafeteria on MY lunch account, but she never pays me back."

.....And the list goes on. Every page had a commentary, and it was very enlightening.

On the flip side: As Lucas took his turn to sit next to me and review the "history pages" of the 2009-10 school year, there were a just a few comments, here and there, but nothing compared to the dirt that his sister had dished. His highlights were....

"There is ****."

"Oh! There is ****, I play with him on the playground."

"There is ****, he is in Ms.****'s class this year."

"There is ****."

"It was SO cold on the snow day. **** had huge gloves on."

.....Just stating the facts, no details or embellishments.


GOTTA LOVE IT!!!

*****