The Other Side of the Coin

Our boys are thrill seekers and rambunctious, random comedians. The flip side of this nail biting roller coaster we have a wonderful daughter. She's dramatic, pre-hormonal, creative and moody, but she is our sweet buttercup....our baby girl.

Lately, there is drama on Abby's mind every time she walks in the door from school. There's a tale about someone who was mean to her on the playground, or someone who was not listening to the teacher again (eyes rolling and head bobbing for emphasis), and/or someone who just thinks that they are cooler than she is.... AS IF?!? And so it goes, that as this tender morsel of feminine youth develops into her own "self" I often wonder how she will handle herself when she is out there in the real world....and I'm NOT THERE WITH HER!?!

Will she be a leader or a follower?

What kind of friends will she choose?

Will she sit on the sidelines, or stand on a chair in the middle of the room and lip sync the latest hits while her friends sing back-up?

Will she be the tutor, or the tutored?

Will she set a good example for others, or be the kid that the other mothers scowl and whisper about under their breath?

I want her to be a spit-fire who knows who she is. A girl who won't take any guff off of boys who just want another dumb girl who will be lead around by the nose. I want her to be independent, not dependent. I want her to be fun and silly when it's time to have fun, but respectful and have poise when the occasion presents itself. She needs to respect authority, but not be afraid to push the limits when her honor, integrity, or rights are in jeopardy.

As I was going through some of my older "back shelf" emails the other day (you know, the ones that you skim over but don't really read until much later), I clicked on an email containing pictures of a Girl Scout event that Abby had attended in our area. As I was scrolling through the pictures I was pleasantly surprised at what I saw! Little Miss Personality was laughing, hugging, playing, crafting, whispering, listening, smiling, participating.....she was AWESOME! It was a treat to see her candid personality unveiled. She was vibrant, fun, and the life of the party!

And a BIG gold star goes to the mother of this awesome young lady!

Why, THANK YOU!

Watching My Kids Grow Up Is As Comfortable As Having A Rock In My Shoe

There once was a boy who was spunky,

He often said, "I'm Mommy's monkey"

"Grounded forever" I said.

A dull life he would dread.

But he went on and grew up instead.

Actually, he IS still spunky. He's also still my monkey. And I haven't stopped making the same old threats...."I'm going to ground you forever if you don't quit growing up".

Unfortunately, to no avail.

Weaving Golden Threads of Inspiration

She is beautiful.

She is ornery.

She is a believer.

She is loving.

She is sentimental.

She is an amazing seamstress.

She is cheerful.

She is a hard worker.

She is a teacher.

She has a HUGE heart.

She is thrifty.

She is trustworthy.

She is a good example.

She is a friend to many.

She is creative.

She loves to travel.

She is always in my corner.

She is resourceful.

She has beautiful handwriting.

She is warm.

She sees life in full color.

She is honest.

She is forgiving.

She is a gracious hostess.

She is a leader.

She is considerate.

She is a homemaker.

She is optimist.

She is understanding.

She is an avid reader.

She has an engaging sense of humor.

She is a wonderful cook.

She is encouraging.

She is thoughtful.

She is my idol.

She is an inspiration.

I am her daughter.

She is my MOTHER.

Me - MOM - Kat - Karen

Prompt #2 - Describe a woman who inspired YOU.

Diagnosis: Swimmers Ear

Today, in an answer to my deepest desire to hear from my son, I got a call from Kamp. It seems that the man-cub has swimmers ear. He's six hundred miles away, and just like any other red-blooded male I know, he's finally made his way to the infirmary because "it really hurts" and can no longer just be ignored.

DAMN. IT.

Conner told *Nurse Betty* that his ear was bothering him a couple of weeks ago, but he never mentioned anything related to aches or pains to yours truly. And so, in addition to the aching down deep in my soul that my son is so far away and hurting, I also had the honor of sounding like an obtuse mother who wasn't paying attention to my son's anguish before shipping his butt off to Kamp. That's what any good mother would do, right?

Well, thank goodness that there was no hint of judgement from *Nurse Betty*. She clearly exhibits the savvy compassion required to treat the teenage population, while also soothing the nerves and fears of the mothers/fathers who miss their teenagers. THE GIRL GOT SKILLZ!! She advised that Conner has orders to stay out of the lake, the pool, and away from the water slide until she "clears" him. At dinner tonight she will track him down again and evaluate how he's doing.

Having the full, undivided attention of one of the staff, I took the liberty of asking *Nurse Betty* to kindly mention to C that his mother would LOVE to hear from him, and misses him terribly. This gave us each a good (on the edge of freaking emotional) giggle, because she also has kids at Kamp but they're not at the same location with her. She, like me, scours the Kamp website every evening looking for pictures of her kids...wishing for a letter...wondering what wonderful things they are doing on any given day....the same song and dance.

If I could see Conner for just five minutes, I would hug him FIERCELY. Then I would bend him over my knee and spank him like a naughty two-year-old for not writting me yet! LOL Obviously this is an exaggeration, but I am certainly not above a good-humored pop or two, for emphasis. :)

*****

25 Things I Love About Richard...

Richard and I have been married almost 18 years - which sounds like forever when I hear myself say it outloud. (Maybe I really am older than I feel?) Anyway...life gets busy. The time seems to slip away from days, to weeks, to months, etc., and there are a lot of times that I forget to tell him just how much he means to me. So here it is in writing. He can take it to the bank. A sampling of the things that make my heart go pitter patter, and the fire....well, you know the rest.

1. I love it that he doesn't pressure me to be more than I am.


2. He thought I was beautiful when I was pregnant, bald, and had only one breast. *sniffle, sniffle, snort*


3. Richard is always trying to be the best dad that he can be.


4. He makes breakfast...every time. TRUE. LOVE.


5. White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle Cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory is always on the way home when it needs to be.


6. My kids adore their daddy because he lets them know that he would move mountains for them...and he backs it up.


7. He is a hard worker and he brings home the bacon. Woot! Woot!


8. Richard is a reeeeally good cook.


9. His sense of adventure gets me out of my comfort zone with routine.


10. He does laundry.


11. He encourages me to get out of town, go out with my friends, and take a break.


12. He is really good at his job, and is most happy when he knows he has helped someone and made a difference.


13. Richard is patient....and I require patience on a regular basis.


14. He gives people the benefit of the doubt - sometimes to a fault.


15. When I am immersed in stitching, a book, blogging, etc. he lets me hide away in my void of time and responsibility.


16. Richard built me a "shoe house" (that's what the kids call it) for all of my shoes to go in and keep them organized. He loves organization and order, too.


17. If he can't do something, he takes the time to figure it out and learn how.


18. My sons will be good husbands and fathers if they follow his example.


19. Richard is a safe driver. I never worry about safety when he is behind the wheel.


20. He is a people person.


21. Richard doesn't pretend to be something that he's not.


22. Richard is a sentimental soul who loves tradition.


23. He is already preparing ways and methods to torture the boys that come calling on his precious daughter. It's gonna be brutal!


24. Whether he's at work or in the middle of a project, his kids and I come first. ALWAYS.


25. He understands who I am, what my motivations are, and shares my dreams for the future...our future. Awww!

So, in case I haven't told you yet today - and I'm sure i did at least once - I love you, Richard!!!

*****

Remote Location Youngster

At the beginning of the school year we had our hands FULL with the teenager. Every stinkin' time that I would see the school's phone number come up on my caller ID, catch my breath and grooooaaaan. It just made me crazy....okay, A LOT crazy. And it was only slightly comforting when I would hear that other mom's were experiencing the same CRAP with their boys. I got calls saying -

Conner has a major project that was due two days ago.

Conner isn't staying on task again.

Conner was shooting spit wads on the ceiling.

Conner gave the substitute teacher the finger. (a personal favorite)

Conner was caught skipping class.

Conner was kissing his girlfriend. (Seriously? We're happy that this is ALL that he's doing w/ girls at this age, lady!)

O-M-G!!!! So we decided to look around and see what was out there for teenagers. We wanted to find something that would force him to be responsible for himself. Something that would encourage him to examine himself on different levels. And finally, I wanted him to be away from home long enough that I could start to miss him and want him to come home. I'm just being honest.

Then, during a conversation sharing my woeful existence of being the mother of an idiot teenager, my BFF from Missouri suggested sending him to summer camp. Meh. I wasn't quite sure that camp was necessarily what I was looking for, but I listened to her, googled, researched, and found my solution. As a family, we decided to forgo our annual family vacation and send Conner to camp this summer instead. We will drop him off at camp in mid-July and he will be there for 25 days. Yes. TWENTY. FIVE. DAYS. Of course, since making final payment in February he's been an absolute angel - well, at least MOSTLY.

The reality of our upcoming separation is starting to set in now. In two weeks we will begin the drive to northern Arkansas to drop him off. I will hand the "keys" over to the camp counselors and drive away. He will be parent-less teen for 25 days. He will get to be his own person. He will do really fun things that I won't get to see (or take pictures of). No phone calls from home to check on him. No phone calls FROM him to let me know that he's having a swell time. He will be a remote location youngster.

I know that I will miss him....and the seed of longing is already awakening.


*****

Motherhood is...

Motherhood is...

Flash cards. A lone soccer sock that can't be found. Hair "clippies" in my pocket. Cheerios, chicken nuggets, and fries under the car seats. HUGS! A strategically placed lego that you step on in the middle of the night. Buying a team t-shirt so your child knows you are on "their side". Birthday cakes and ice cream. Sleepless nights. A sweet little hand, wrapped around your finger right after being born. Parent/Teacher Conferences. Sippy cups with curdled milk stashed behind the couch. The sound of little feet coming down the stairs. "I love you mommy" notes on your favorite stationary. Having "the talk". Alligator tears. Report cards. Sticky door knobs. New shoes. The gift of a handful of rocks from the playground at recess. Hearing about his/her first kiss. The Tooth Fairy. Working on school projects together. Pop-Tart smeared on your shoulder (where YOU can't see it) by little hands when you were dropping them off at daycare. Itsy Bitsy Spider. Saying prayers at bedtime. Learning to ride a bike. "Over spray" on and around the toilet. Hearing your child say their first words. Crayon drawings on the walls. A smiling toddler with a turd floating in the bathtub. Pacifiers! Cozy blankets. Spelling. Being the "mean mommy" because it's the right thing to do. Slamming doors. Piles and piles of laundry. Dr. Seuss. Halloween costumes that they wait all year to dress up as. Baby lotion. Patience under fire. The first steps. Hearing your kids mimic you when they think you aren't paying attention. Little voices singing. Tub toys.

....Knowing that they will be grown before you know it.

*****