Open Mouth...Insert Cowgirl Boot

I love the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo. Oh. Yes. I. Do. I especially love it when hot young hunky men are singing, dancing, and strutting their goods up on stage for my friends and I to ogle at. It's like Santa just delivered a belated Christmas gift to me in mid-March. A really, really great gift if it happens to Keith Urban. Just give me a drool bib and turn your head in the other direction if you can't hang.

Oh wait...that's not the point of this installment. Focus, focus, FOCUS. The point is that sometimes when you are making fun conversation, and you are overcome with your own hilarity, SOMETIMES your wise cracks fall a little to close to home for your listener. Grab a seat cowpoke and hang on to your boots!

Setting: yours truly is sitting in the hairdresser's chair

Mood: fun and chatty

Characters: Moi and the hairdresser, we'll call her "STAR"


The curtain raises....

Star is seen cutting my hair with the speed and ferocity of Edward Scissorhands, and talking at the same speed. She's talking so fast that I have to ask her repeat herself numerous times. I don't know if she's on crack, or just lives on fast forward, but I feel like it's a match up of the tortoise and the hare. So there I sit....hair flying....we're chatting up a storm....and she mentions that she's going to the HLS&R.


Camera zooms in to catch the conversation....

Star: I have a date tomorrow night and we are going to the roooodeo. I haven't ever been to the rodeo in Houston before, so it'll be my first time, and I don't know what to wear. It's so weird.

Me: Oh my gauuu, I love going to the rodeo! Used to hate it, but my sister always gets the best seats and takes me with her. Good seats, plus free tickets? Yeah, you learn to love the rodeo really quickly. Who's playing tomorrow night?

Star: Brad Paisley. I don't listen to country at all, but I have heard that he's really good. I just don't know if I want to go the rodeo, though. Kinda weird place to take a date.

Me: BP will be really good. Haven't ever seen him before but heard that he puts on a good show. The RODEO part is really great to watch too. (insert description of events, my favorite parts of the rodeo, etc, etc) And besides, even if you aren't really a fan of the rodeo it's a GREAT place to people watch.

Star: Oh damn, that's my favorite sport!

Me: Well, then you will love it for sure! It's like someone took one of those trashy Walmart's from one of those back-woodsy, deep East Texas towns like Cut-N-Shoot, you know, where brothers and sisters marry each other, and just dumped it out!

Star: I grew up in Cut-N-Shoot. (BTW, Cut-N-Shoot is a real honest to goodness town here in Texas)

Me: *GULP* Wait. Whaaat?

Star: I grew up there. I hated it so much that I had my Daddy transfer me to ****** High School and drove me every morning, but that's where all of my growing up years were spent.

Me: *awkward silence* Well, you'll have a good time anyway. *subject change*


Camera zooms out. Curtain closes.

True story. No exaggerations. Star just kinda laughed the conversation off and let it go that day. Luckily, when I went back to see her it was evident that she still didn't hold a grudge and she didn't scalp me. Either that, or the fumes from all the chemicals have fried the "Tacky Things That Idiot Clients Have Said To Me" portion of her brain. WHEW!

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