It's raining again today. Grey. Overcast. And change is in the air. It's almost tangible. The big question on my mind; Is it just ME that's changing, is it the people around me, or a combination of both? Hmmm.....I say "YES" to all of the above.
Lately I find myself on pins and needles waiting to see if a friend is actually going to follow through on making plans that we've discussed. It's increasingly frustrating when my questions, comments, or messages aren't returned or acknowledged. And mostly, I'm more aware that things are going on around me where I'm not included, or finding myself wishing that I had been included. Honestly, who wouldn't want to have fun 'ol me around anyway, right?!? ~hardy~har~har~
For the past several years I have been working my part time J-O-B a few days a week, and then making plans with my cohorts on the remaining days. I like going out to lunch, meet for a pedicure, run errands, go shopping. Basically, I am up for whatever sounds like fun and is the most indulgent option available.
The fly in the ointment, has been adjusting to the varying rolls that each of my friends play in their respective households...if they work, volunteer umpteen hours at the school, go to school themselves, still have children at home, have groups and clubs that they belong to...the list is endless. We are all going 90mph, in different directions, with a to-do list a mile long, and soundly equipped with the desire to TRY and meet the needs of each of our kids and hubs...in the space of time between sun-up and sun-down. Our lives are hectic across the board.
Personally speaking, this feeling of sulkiness and the need for self examination makes me wonder if there might even be an underlying need to expand MY OWN horizons. Could it be that while my kids have been growing up, making friends, and learning about the world around them, I have become so consumed with managing the day-to-day operations of LIFE, that I have overlooked some of my own needs? This is highly possible.
I feel alone, but I know that I am not. There are millions of other women (and men) who I'm sure find themselves in a lull with seemingly no one around them who they feel would really "get it". That isn't the case either. We each have value, and contribute in our own way to the bigger picture.
SOOOO, today I am resolving to find a new passion. ~No, sicko, not that kind of passion.~ I am going to find a new passion that is for my own personal development and benefit. Something that adds a new facet to who I am and what I have to offer.
Once I figure it out, I'll let you know!