Skid Marks, a Sharpie, and Other Ramblings

Lately I feel uninteresting, overwhelmed by motherhood, and seems to have a mild case of writer's block. Therefore, rather than force myself to write something that I am not behind 100%, I thought I would share some random conversations between my children and I.

Enjoy!

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Sunday we were driving with just the boys in the car, and we were talking about clothes that we needed to get/replace before long.

Me: Lucas, we are going to have to go through and weed out some of your underwear, dude. You've got a bunch of drawers with some nasty skids and some holes in 'em.

Lucas: (without missing a beat) Well, it's cuz I fart!

....can't argue with that logic.

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This afternoon when she came home from school:

Abby: Momma, guess what?!

Me: What?

Abby: *BEAMING* Today my teacher gave me a brand new Sharpie to keep in my school box!!

Me: Really? What color is it?

Abby: It's baby blue and it's brand new! I brought it home in my backpack so that I could use it a little bit. YAY!! I love new Sharpies!!!

Yep, she's mine all right. The only thing that could have made her day any better would've been if the teacher had given her a pink spiral notebook to go along with it. I'm so proud!

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Last weekend Lucas had a falling out with one of the boys on our block, When he came in crying to tell Richard about it, this is how it went down:

Lucas: *emotionally tells his dad about the incident between he and a friend*

Richard: Well did you hit him back?

Lucas: NO.

Richard: You are going to have to start learning to stand up for yourself rather than running inside and fussing about it everytime. He shouldn't have ****ed you, but next time you need to punch him back, and make it count!

Lucas dries his tears up and goes back outside to play. As a protective mother bear precautionary measure, I decided to follow him out and read a book while keeping an eye on things. After about 10min I could see that Lucas is still pretty worked up and agitated, so I ask him what was up.

Lucas: I'm waiting for **** to come back outside so that I can beat him up!

Me: WHAT?!?

Lucas: Well dad said to hit him back next time, so that's what I'm gonna do!

Me: Well, I don't think your dad meant for you to come out and settle the score after the fact, he means for you not to take crap WHEN someone hurts you.

Lucas: Well that's what I'm gonna do! I'm not taking crap!

I marched back into the house and let Richard know that he needed to get himself outside PROMPTLY, and clarify the "ass kicking policy" before we had an even bigger problem on our hands... Nice.

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The oldest can't seem to understand why I am not "on board" with letting him roaming aimlessly around his girlfriend's neighborhood on Halloween night. I mean really, they're "just going for a walk in the woods".

Now that I think about it, I'm starting to seem a little uptight to myself, too! I mean, it would make total sense to just let my hormonal-almost-driving-age teenager walk in the woods with boobies and groping hands, right? And surely letting them go unattended (unless you consider the other COUPLE of teenagers as chaperons) makes even more sense. They are teenagers, after all, and know more than we (the parents) do. Right!? Or do I just have it bass-ackwards again? I don't know. I might need a little help on this one.

Can I use my life line, Meredith?

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