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Sunday, October 17, 2010

Car Salesmen Continue to EARN Their Reputation

Top 10 things that a car salesmen should never say:

  1. I think this is how you get the seat to lay down... As he's getting ready to do a WWF pile-driver move on the seat to get it into the desired position. Nice job there Cletus. I bet those repairs won't be covered under the power train warranty, will they?
  2. I would never try to take advantage of my customers, I walk with Jesus every day. Yeah, well He walks with me too, and He's saying that you measure an 9.8 on His full-of-crap-o-meter.
  3. I've already been back to my floor manager THREE times to adjust the number - this never happens! REALLY? Because Diego earned extra Weight Watcher points walking back and forth when we purchased our last vehicle from this same dealership.
  4. Now, if you were looking at a (lesser quality vehicle) instead of a (what we're negotiating on) I could easily get you into the number that you want to pay. But those vehicles are stupid, and that's why I want the pretty one.
  5. I'm not really familiar with those cars. FAIL.
  6. Now, we (the dealership) have to be able to make some money here. This is so stupid that no comment is really necessary.
  7. Most of my customers look at the price that we give them (on the negotiating paper) and say "That sounds good to me!" To which I replied, "Well, then you should be out there busting your ASS to find those customers, 'cause I don't know ANYONE who takes a car salesman's first offer."
  8. There's just no more room to negotiate. That's about the point when I smell blood because now I KNOW that we must be getting close to the "sweet spot". Buckle up Cletus!!
  9. That car's only been on the lot for a few days. Then you guys have an aggressive marketing strategy since it was listed as "Just Reduced" on the internet....or was that my "room for negotiation" that just evaporated?
  10. You wouldn't believe how the crash in the market has crushed car sales. Pretty brazen thing to say since this dude is pimping for an auto house that was bailed out by the government in the not-so-distant past. Wouldn'tcha say?

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

Awesome! I hate, hate, HATE buying a car! They hold you hostage... or at least they did with us.. and we were hungry..... bastards. And your one about Jesus reminded me of a William S Burroughs quote, "Never do business with a religious son-of-a-bitch. His word ain't worth a shit -- not with the Good Lord telling him how to fuck you on the deal."