Never Judge a Nerd

Today, Richard and I went to a local sandwich shop for lunch. It's a place that we discovered about a year or so ago, and we love to stop in and try something new on their fairly extensive menu every now and then. It also happens to be located near some of our other favorite places, so it also provides a nice variety of alternatives if one place is too packed for us to grab a quick lunch.

As we were walking towards the shop today, we noticed that there was an unusually high volume of patrons. There were so many people that the line was actually coming out the front door! Weird. But, since we were in the mood, we went ahead and jumped in line with everyone else.

After putting in our order and wading through the crowd to find a table, we started looking around at the clientele. Almost all of the individuals were very conservatively dressed - long sleeve button ups with a tie and slacks, urban jeans with a hoodie, cashmere sweaters and loafers, etc....and ALL of them were well groomed. LOTS of side satchels and backpacks. This was also about the time that Richard and I started noticing the general air of nerdiness. All of these people were serious - obviously left-brainers - and friendly, but reserved.

Upon further observation (thanks to our skillful people-watching-abilities), we noticed that they all had conference-type badges on.... Yeah, they were all attending a LUNAR & PLANETARY SCIENCE CONFERENCE!! Holy crap!! I felt like a complete imbecile as soon as I realized exactly HOW nerdy and smart all of these people around us actually were!

And then it dawned on me. Just as surely as I was sitting there judging their scholarly dweebishness, they were probably sizing me up as "the-mom-who-probably-can't-help-her-highschooler-with-his-homework".

And they would be right.

RSVP's - Are They A Thing Of The Past? You Decide

Abby's birthday is smack dab in the middle of December, which is both, fabulous and horrible, all at the same time. So in an effort to escape the madness of trying to throw a birthday party during the middle of holiday season, we've made a tradition of celebrating her birthday on the weekend directly after Thanksgiving. It's just easier that way.

Of our three kids, Abby is the one who begins planning next year's party immediately after she finishes opening her birthday presents at this year's birthday party. She LOVES to celebrate the beginning of another fabulous year with her friends. After all, who doesn't like a great party, right?

This year she has chosen to throw her bash at a local joint with inflatables galore. You know, the kind with inflatable mazes, inflatable slides, bounce houses, etc. It has been a breeze to arrange the party - made a few phone calls, picked up a cake, and have drinks in a cooler waiting to be iced down. Ahhhh....bliss! Minimal work, and the party is set to go? BONUS.

My only gripe is that we have received RSVP's on about HALF of the invitations that were sent out. WTF?!? Isn't it proper etiquette to respond if a response has been requested?!?

Have we, as a society, regressed to the point that responding to an RSVP request has become a trivial inconvenience and unimportant? We're only talking about making a phone call here people! Nothing more than sending an email, making a quick call, or even a firing off a text message. It's not like you have to solve the health care debacle or bring our troops home from Afghanistan!!

It's also much easier for us to respond now, than it was for our predecessors in the early 20th century. We don't have the burden of sending one of our children or field hands into town advising Maude that the brood of unruly heathens will be attending their barn raising next weekend, along with a heaping plate of fried yard bird to share, of course. (yard bird = chicken)

Here are some good ideas of ways to decline an invitation, if you need some help:

• I can't come because I have a bit of a tummy bug, and every time I throw up, I shit my pants at the same time. It's kinda like a shart...somewhere in between a shit and a fart. Grab an adult diaper and a raincoat then, cuz your invitation has just been REVOKED!
• We probably shouldn't....my son has thick green snot oozing out of his nose and a croupy cough. No Vap-O-Rub or cough drops in these goody bags....NEXT!
• We'll be driving back from the camp ground and will probably smell like a wildebeest. This is not a name-that-smell party...catcha next time!
• Your daughter didn't come to my daughter's party. Oh, so we're playing the tit-for-tat game, eh? I get it. Move along now.
• I'm in the process of alphabetizing my recipe cards according to the Dooey Decimal System. You're lame. You shouldn't be at my party anyway.
• If I'm out too late one of the other "Sister Wives" will call dibs on my designated night with Kody. *gagging like I have a hairball*
• We have a prior engagement. Simple. To the point. Flawless.

Bottom line: If someone sends you an invite that requests an RSVP....for the love of all that is Holy, RESPOND!

Car Salesmen Continue to EARN Their Reputation

Top 10 things that a car salesmen should never say:

1. I think this is how you get the seat to lay down... As he's getting ready to do a WWF pile-driver move on the seat to get it into the desired position. Nice job there Cletus. I bet those repairs won't be covered under the power train warranty, will they?
2. I would never try to take advantage of my customers, I walk with Jesus every day. Yeah, well He walks with me too, and He's saying that you measure an 9.8 on His full-of-crap-o-meter.
3. I've already been back to my floor manager THREE times to adjust the number - this never happens! REALLY? Because Diego earned extra Weight Watcher points walking back and forth when we purchased our last vehicle from this same dealership.
4. Now, if you were looking at a (lesser quality vehicle) instead of a (what we're negotiating on) I could easily get you into the number that you want to pay. But those vehicles are stupid, and that's why I want the pretty one.
5. I'm not really familiar with those cars. FAIL.
6. Now, we (the dealership) have to be able to make some money here. This is so stupid that no comment is really necessary.
7. Most of my customers look at the price that we give them (on the negotiating paper) and say "That sounds good to me!" To which I replied, "Well, then you should be out there busting your ASS to find those customers, 'cause I don't know ANYONE who takes a car salesman's first offer."
8. There's just no more room to negotiate. That's about the point when I smell blood because now I KNOW that we must be getting close to the "sweet spot". Buckle up Cletus!!
9. That car's only been on the lot for a few days. Then you guys have an aggressive marketing strategy since it was listed as "Just Reduced" on the internet....or was that my "room for negotiation" that just evaporated?
10. You wouldn't believe how the crash in the market has crushed car sales. Pretty brazen thing to say since this dude is pimping for an auto house that was bailed out by the government in the not-so-distant past. Wouldn'tcha say?