I Never Said That I Was June Cleaver

Secret Santa Shop

2011-12-08T06:03:00.003-06:00

After not blogging for seven long months I've decided to jump back in the saddle, but only in baby steps. HERE GOES NOTHIN'!!!

Yesterday when the kids got home from school, they were heavy laden with gifts a'plenty for the whole family. Every Christmas, their school has this thing called the "Secret Santa Shop" where kids can go and purchase relatively inexpensive gifts for their family or friends. Five dollars can go a long way, or only buy one thing, but the kids get to manage how they spend their own money. After opening one of the gifts that Abby got me, (because she can't stand to waiting until Christmas for anyone to open up their gifts) she started to tell me about her shopping experience and this was the highlight:

Abby walks up to where I'm sitting, leans over the arm of my comfy chair and says, "Mom! So today when I was shopping they had this really cool '#1 Sister' water bottle that was REALLY awesome, and I REALLY wanted, but it was $7.00 and I didn't have enough money to get everything for everybody else. So I had to put it back."

Not quite sure about this, I asked the obvious, "Why would you get something that says '#1 Sister' if you don't even have a sister?"

"Because I'm a really great sister and I wanted it!" *all smiles*

HAHAHAHA!!! Then, as a bonus, she proceeded to tell me about her conversation with the checkout lady in an Australian voice!

Seriously, who is this child?

My Alien Teenager; The Wheels are Falling Off

2011-05-10T16:57:00.009-05:00

Blogging has fallen to the wayside in the last few months. It's not that I don't get all warm and fuzzy inside when I hit the little "Pubish Post" button, but there just never seems to be enough time or energy, and least of all, a feeling of creativity. This dry patch seems to be coming to an end, of sorts, and I now have a renewed desire to spill my guts, share, and purge my innermost thoughts and feelings on this here bloggy thang. This comes in the wake of the swath my teenager is cutting right through the center of my life. He's challenging me in every capacity, attempting to negotiate the impossible (according to the rules of our home), and he is getting me closer to what my mother refers to as "well deserved dementia". (FYI - My mom is awesome)

Conner will be 16 next month (Dear Lord, please forgive me of all my sins and shortcomings), thus shoving us down a new path in our journey through parenthood. In addition to the horrors of being on the verge of a three-driver-household, we are also encountering some erratic, hormonal behaviors that just make me want to pull my hair out. For instance, on any given day, he comes home from school with a forecast of "heavy winds and strong thunderstorms possible".

Like today.

He called me on my way home from work to let me know that his teacher had cancelled after school tutorials, and proceeded to growl, "these stupid people are PISSING ME OFF!". When I asked him who, exactly, he was talking about, he just says snarls someone keeps texting him "some bogus crap, and I don't know WHO IT IS". Okay.... So in a brief moment, this conversation gives me just a taste of what the rest of the afternoon is probably going to stack up to be - A NIGHTMARE.

When I walked through the door, the younger two bounced happily over, hugged me, and told me about the things that happened during their day. They were happy to see me, got a snack, and hit the routine of homework. Once I passed the pleasantries with them, I stepped into the room where the dark broodiness of Conner was almost palpable. He was sitting in the recliner, scowling at his spiral notebook, scribbling something down, and has nothing at all to say to me other than, "Everything's fine". Oh really, Mr. Sunshine? ...and then the slow spiral into hell began.

He's been grounded for his grades for a while now but he continues to only do a half-ass job at studying. Case and point, he had a Geography test today that he didn't study for. He says that he passed with a high C, but fails to see why I can't get on board with the fact that he obviously didn't NEED to study, since he passed without putting forth the extra effort. Duh. I'm just a stupid mom.

He broke out the water works when he asked if he could just have a break from being grounded and I said "No". He's "just so tired of being stuck in the house and not being able to go do anything", but he fails to see that it's his decision not to work his butt off to get his grades back above passing. Duh. I'm just a stupid mom.

By this point he's just a ragged mess, and sorrowfully pleads that he's dying to have his girlfriend to come over and "teach him some strategies for studying" because he's having such a hard time learning all the info on his own. WTH?!? Here's a clue. If you can't get your studying done BY YOURSELF, you sure as hell aren't bringing the tits and grins over to "help" you study!! Do we really have to have this conversation?! Duh. I'm just a stupid mom.

He sulked, cried, moaned, bellyached, pleaded, begged, and cried some more.

I'm tired of it.

And I am hoping that at some point he will get tired of it, too.

If he's not passing and obeying the rules of our house, then I really don't give a rip whether or not he does anything with his friends. It's up to him to make the most of his teenage years, or sit on the front porch and watch it all pass him by. It's also no skin off my teeth if he ever earns the money to buy his car so that he can get his license.**

**Yes, he has to buy his own car from his grandpa because he'll take better care of something that HE earns himself.

Needed: Inspiration & Will Power

2011-05-02T03:56:00.004-05:00

I'm up at the butt crack of dark, browsing solutions on the Internet, and feeling like complete loser. Although that is just wishful thinking, because I am actually a successful GAINER.

I've managed to gain back all of the weight that I worked so hard to lose a couple years ago. I've let poor self esteem, horrible eating habits, our on-the-go lifestyle, and an addiction to high calorie foods sneak back in and take the driver's seat. These thoughts roll around in my head constantly, and my internal dialogue is always that "I'm going to do better". At different points in my life I've been better about disciplining myself and dropping the weight, but after existing in about ten years of chunkiness, the reality is that it's not just going to go away.

It's easy to look at the people around me and say, "Well, they're more successful because they've *fill in the blank*, but I *insert limitation here*". Regrettably though, as the scale continues to gradually climb, I must acknowledge that it isn't someone else getting on that scale every morning.....IT'S ME.

I've got to get my shit together.

I've got to overcome my own issues.

I've got to quit thinking that I'll always be fat.

I've got to pay attention to myself instead of comparing myself to others.

I've got to.

Broken Trust

2011-03-28T06:29:00.007-05:00

This morning I woke up in a sea of jumbled emotions. I am upset beyond words with my brother's girlfriend, and am amazed at how she can possibly consider herself a good mother when all of the evidence says otherwise. She's a WRECK, and I now have no reason to trust her word ever again.

Yesterday we went to my dad's house to celebrate Ben and Margaret's birthday. The weather was spectacular and the pool was warm enough (to my kids' standards), so they spent the day splashing and playing in the water. Around mid afternoon someone dropped Mindy's kids off at my dad's so that they could spend some time with Mindy, and they all had a great time together - playing in the pool, consuming mass quantities of food, and just being kids.

Conner, Mindy, and [daughter] also spent a good amount of time looking through funny YouTube videos, listening to ringtones, music. There was a particular ringtone that Conner let me listen to on Mindy's phone (it was silly), and mentioned another one that he wanted her to send him, but felt that I would consider it inappropriate. They laughed about it saying, "It's not really that bad though, Mom". But when I asked her if she considered it appropriate for her own children, she said, "Weelllllll, [daughter] has heard it, but they aren't allowed to have it on their phones". REALLY!?! And you want to send it to MY SON?! Some people are just stupid to the core.

A bit later, after we had gone inside and were all congregated in the living room, the topic of what types of messages Conner can receive on his cell phone came up again. (I had seen them trading cell phone numbers outside.)

Mindy: What kinds of messaging can Conner get on his phone? I tried to send him something and it wouldn't go through? (Let me guess, it's a ringtone...huh, dumbass?)

Me: We have Conner's cellphone on "lock down", so he can't get picture texts, video texts, new ringtones. There's no internet - just straight alpha text and calling.

Mindy: rolled her eyes

Me: Do your kids have internet on their phones?

Mindy: Yeah, [daughter] has it. Her dad has set limits on the about of internet usage that she gets every month because she had a $700 bill one month. *laughing* But she doesn't do anything she's not supposed to.

Me: We don't allow our kids to get on the computer whenever they want to, everything is password protect in our house.

Mindy: REALLY? Wow!

There was more conversation to the tune of, her knowing that kids can chat with total strangers when they're on XBox, but her son "would never do that. He's already had one 'scare' from chatting, but he's good now and won't be doing that ever again". My dad walked by and said, "Mindy, EVERYONE always thinks that their kids would never do anything like that". This didn't sit well with her, but she was smart and shut her mouth - my dad doesn't take shit from anyone, least of all her.

After we got home and sent the kids to bed, Richard and sat on the couch talking about the scenario in it's entirety, and how Mindy had mocked the way that we limit our kids' access to different things. It bothered me enough that we called Conner back downstairs so that we could talk about it. I explained, once again, why we set such limits on his access to certain types of media - which he totally understands. After which, we talked about the events of the afternoon and I asked Conner if she had tried to text him after we left.

Me: Did Mindy send you any texts after we left your PawPaw's house tonight?

Conner: Yeah.

Me: Do you mind telling me what she wanted?

Conner: *sheepishly* She was trying to send me that ringtone again.

Me: Did it go through? *about to freaking EXPLODE!!*

Conner: No, it didn't.

All I can say, with 100% certainty, is that it is a damn good thing that there's a two hour drive time between my house and where Mindy lives. We told Conner that we do not want him to have ANY contact with her outside of the times that our family unit is together. There were also graphic explanations about why we felt this way, and Conner finally "got it". Mindy doesn't even have custody of her own children because of the decisions that she's made (and continues to make). As such, any criticism that she may have of my parenting approach makes me feel like I'm one step closer to being a saint! HA!

Conner deleted her from his list of contacts, along with all of the texts that they had exchanged - he even stood there and let me watch him do it. I feel confident that he understands where his dad and I are coming from, and why we are so protective of them.

I will never trust Mindy again.

*****

Never Judge a Nerd

2011-03-07T15:46:00.005-06:00

Today, Richard and I went to a local sandwich shop for lunch. It's a place that we discovered about a year or so ago, and we love to stop in and try something new on their fairly extensive menu every now and then. It also happens to be located near some of our other favorite places, so it also provides a nice variety of alternatives if one place is too packed for us to grab a quick lunch.

As we were walking towards the shop today, we noticed that there was an unusually high volume of patrons. There were so many people that the line was actually coming out the front door! Weird. But, since we were in the mood, we went ahead and jumped in line with everyone else.

After putting in our order and wading through the crowd to find a table, we started looking around at the clientele. Almost all of the individuals were very conservatively dressed - long sleeve button ups with a tie and slacks, urban jeans with a hoodie, cashmere sweaters and loafers, etc....and ALL of them were well groomed. LOTS of side satchels and backpacks. This was also about the time that Richard and I started noticing the general air of nerdiness. All of these people were serious - obviously left-brainers - and friendly, but reserved.

Upon further observation (thanks to our skillful people-watching-abilities), we noticed that they all had conference-type badges on.... Yeah, they were all attending a LUNAR & PLANETARY SCIENCE CONFERENCE!! Holy crap!! I felt like a complete imbecile as soon as I realized exactly HOW nerdy and smart all of these people around us actually were!

And then it dawned on me. Just as surely as I was sitting there judging their scholarly dweebishness, they were probably sizing me up as "the-mom-who-probably-can't-help-her-highschooler-with-his-homework".

And they would be right.

Failing Grades

2011-02-17T05:57:00.005-06:00

This morning, as soon as I was generally coherent, I hopped on my laptop to check email, our finances, and Conner's grades. Conner has been grounded from everything but eating, sleeping, and breathing for the past few weeks because of his grades, so I tend to check out his averages online A LOT.

At some point after the Christmas break, Conner decided to let his grades completely plummet into the sewer. He was failing SEVEN classes out of nine. It's true. And just like always, all of his privileges were taken away...no time with his girlfriend...no cell phone...no hanging out with his buddies...no computer/Facebook...NOTHING. And, because I was so thoroughly disgusted with his ridiculous grades, I implemented and book report requirement on top of the hours of studying he wasn't going to weasel his way out of.

The good news is that he's brought up all of his grades to the passing level, with the exception of two.

The bad news.... When I checked his grades this morning, he got a 50% on a Biology test - he's still failing Biology. AND he didn't even turn in a homework paper in Money Matters....helping him to maintain his stellar average of 40%.

What does he think!?! I've been busting his chops for weeks! Sitting in the front room WITH him, where there is no noise or distraction, keeping him on task and accountable, quizzing him on content....and holding his feet to the fire!!! And this little buzzard has the cojones to produce a ZERO ON HOMEWORK?!?

His MP3 is now in my possession, and I am going to switch his radio/alarm clock out with a plain-jane alarm clock while he's at school.

I welcome any other brilliant idea or suggestions on how to get this kid refocused and prioritized.

Failure is NOT an option.

Getting My PURGE On

2011-02-10T04:21:00.006-06:00

I think I may have forgotten how to blog. Or maybe its that my ability to multi-task on so many different levels has lead to the recent demise of my time to sit and blog? Whatever the reason, I feel like I am busy all the time, and STILL, my ability "to do it all" comes up short.

This feeling of scatteredness and mayhem has spawned an intense desire for organization. I like to have things neat and tidy to begin with, but it has further prompted me to open my filing cabinets at the house and at work, in order to organize and purge unnecessary paperwork that I've been holding on to for far too long. Richard has also mentioned said that he wants/needs to get our "Systems" binder updated with general company information, templates, etc. updated at the office - I do the bookkeeping for his company. So I've been going through....making notes....labeling....shredding....filing....and throwing away.

Last week, I decided that I was so tired of looking at my shelf of jumbled purses, that I pulled down all of my totes, handbags and carry-alls from the closet and laid them out on the bathroom floor. I let them sit there for about a week (we have a large bathroom) and took time to think about which ones I would really hate to get rid of, over which ones I couldn't stand to part with. Lastnight I put about seven purses in the pile for a garage sale and put the rest neatly back away. It felt really good!! Now, I'm sure that Richard would say that I really only need one or two good purses....but he's also a dude, and dudes only wear brown shoes, black shoes, and a pair of tennis shoes, right?

This week I've worked on cleaning out my filing cabinets at work. I have decided to essentially "go paperless" with the bookkeeping functions, wherever it's possible to do so. I've been scanning documents, policies, and information into the system, and as soon as my shiny red external hard drive is delivered this afternoon....the heavens will open and the angels will sing! The idea is to have a system where I scan the information into my handy-dandy computer and save myself time, space, and energy by not having to create or pull paper files. Maybe once the rest of the crew sees how it works they will jump on board....maybe.

Some of my neighbors are going to do a garage sale in a month or so, which is also helping me to get my purge on here at the house. There is sooooo much stuff that doesn't get used, has been grown out of, or has just rendered itself useless, and all this crappola just needs to move out and find a new residence! Whether it's old board games, PURSES, wicker baskets, clothes, dishes, or my seldom used elliptical machine....I NEED LESS. Maybe if I really make a giant push to get A LOT of stuff moved out, I'll be able to save a nice little wad-o-cash for our big summer road trip!? And who doesn't love a little extra dough in the pocketbook!

On days when I feel completely overwhelmed by the multitude of things that need to be done, it gives me a sense of comfort knowing that some little part of my "world" has been cleaned, organized, and purged. It is also comforting to know that I am among the masses who share this same feeling of grappling for a sense of harmony.

School SUCKS!

2011-01-20T04:03:00.003-06:00

I have a bad attitude this afternoon. I'll just be honest.

Today, as soon as I got home from work, Abby was waiting in the garage to hand me her Tuesday Folder full of school papers. She stayed home sick for more than half of last week, so there weren't that many papers to review and look over. Her spelling test had an unusually low grade, but after having a heart attack at the sight of such a horrible grade and thinking about it, I remembered that I hadn't even made her practice her words one single time! I don't know how I forgot about spelling, but I did, and she absolutely BOMBED her spelling test. Bombed it so bad that there was even a note from her teacher, written at the top, saying that since she had been out most of the week, her teacher wouldn't count the grade. WHEW! - that was an unexpected relief! (Thank you kind teacher!) After I got done looking at her papers, I noticed yet another handwritten scribble under her conduct grade for the week. The note read, "Please let me know when you are available for a conference".

Suddenly I felt JOY and HAPPINESS hissing out of my body. I was deflating by the millisecond. That type of note from the teacher never means anything but "Please come in so we can discuss what you AREN'T doing to help your child succeed".... or, "WOW. She should be WAY ahead of this by now".... And I always envision that these comments are also accompanied by THE LOOK. You know...it's akin to that face that your mother used to make when she was so ashamed and disappointed in your behavior that there weren't really words to go along with her swirling emotions.... This is also very similar to the look that she would shoot you, letting you know that you were in SERIOUSLY deep shit, she clearly had to THINK about what she was going to say before she opened her mouth because the tongue lashing was going to be a real scorcher, and your certain death (sarcasm people!) was not negotiable.

UGH!!!

I. HATE. SCHOOL.

I hate that the teachers move so fast from one concept to another before the kids have enough time to really grasp each concept.

I hate that when my kids struggle, I feel like I'm the teacher's first line of their defense. Yeah, I said it. It's the CYA approach for some teachers - rather than spending more time with the student, they call home and get Mom to pick up the slack. (This isn't the case right now, but we've dealt with this phenomenon in the past)

I hate that school feels like the main focus for every school year is all about "meeting the grade" on standardized testing.

I hate it when my kids don't even want to do their homework because they didn't get a concept the first time and the teacher has moved on. Either keep up, catch up, or get left behind.

I hate it that my kids measure successes and failures based on a number grade at the top of their papers. There's more to learning than just a flipping number!

I hate it that I feel like such a failure when my kids are struggling.

I. HATE. SCHOOL.

All this being said, I absolutely DO to work with each of my kids and I encourage them to keep plugging along. One day they'll get it and it will all make sense, but until that day, we just keep working. Each of the kids has really good teachers, it just feels a little overwhelming so see a third grader bringing home basic algebraic equations to solve while multiplication is STILL a challenge.

Is there anyone out there who feels the same way?

Driver's Ed Starts Tomorrow gulp

2011-01-17T15:35:00.000-06:00

I can vividly recall the day that I went down to the DPS office and took the test to receive my Learner's Permit. And I remember getting behind the wheel of my mom's mini-van for the first time to practice driving around our neighborhood. We were living in Alaska at the time and I was eager to get as much practice behind the wheel as I could possibly squeeze in. I felt so grown up! My rocket boosters had launched me into a whole new stratosphere.

There is one particular "practice run" that I will never forget though. My mother wanted me to get the feel of the road, so we got out on a long stretch of road would take us back towards the the Chugach State Park. It was a beautiful drive full of turns, hills, scenery, and changes in elevation. Some of these elevation changes included a mountain on the driver's side....and a steep drop-off on the passenger's side. :) My mom was incredibly B-R-A-V-E. It was pretty nerve wracking to be behind the wheel, but I thought I was doing a pretty good job!

As we drove farther out of town the road started to wind around a bit, and the hills got bigger. The real "action in the cockpit" started when we got farther up into the foothills. I remember driving up a hill and as we came around a corner, the terrain on Mom's side of the car dropped off into nothingness. There were no trees to block our view, and we could see for miles. We were probably having a conversation about something random, when all of a sudden my mother started beating on the door....her feet were braced on the dashboard......and the was yelling "GET OVER! GET OVER!! GET OVER!!!" I had gotten too close to the white line and my mother was seeing her life flash before her very eyes.

Fast forward about twenty years.....

Conner starts Driver's Education tomorrow through the high school. It's hard to believe that he's old enough to start getting behind the wheel, and even more inconceivable that I'm gonna be the one to get in the passenger seat at some point. EGADS!! I've known that this day was coming. I knew that I wouldn't be able to put it off forever - it's the natural progression of growing up!

Thinking of seeing Conner climb into the drivers' seat gives me flashbacks to that day in Alaska. In my invincible teenage mind, I'm sure that I thought my mother was totally overreacting and blowing things out of proportion...I mean, I wasn't really THAT close to the edge, right? Ugh. Just the THOUGHT of him behind the wheel makes me want to throw up in sheer terror. My mother had GUTS. I don't know how she managed to summon the courage to let me back behind the wheel to drive again!

Do we really HAVE to let them grow up?

Can't we just go back to preschool, play dates, and Happy Meals?

Pretty please....with sugar on top?!

Where Did the Time Go?

2011-01-03T05:13:00.000-06:00

Talk about "taking a break", during the whole month of December I never got a single post uploaded onto my blog. There were a several drafts, but somewhere into my second or third paragraph I would get sidetracked and never get refocused enough to return and finish. ....Kinda like my kids and cleaning their rooms. :)

I won't do one of those lame, blow-by-blow, regurgitations on how life unfolded with each passing day through my lapse in blogging, but I will say that December was a whirlwind. A whirlwind of activities and parties for the kids, school plays and events, house guests for over two weeks solid, a house BURSTING at the seams on Christmas day, and a bazillion other things in between. It was wonderful, exhausting, and memorable all at the same time.

One of the biggest treats that we enjoyed over the Christmas break was the time that we got to spend with family. My sister-in-law, niece, and nephew drove in from Arizona and spent a few days with us. I've been estranged from my brother for a few years now, so being able to spend time with them was HUGE! The kids were all so excited to be together that they played and played for the duration of the visit with nothing but boisterous childhood silliness and countless hours of playing outside. We were sad to see them go, but feel so blessed to have had the quality time together!

Getting back into the swing of things today is going to be hard. After having two weeks to undo habits of getting to bed on time and waking up with the alarm clock, the kids will surely cross the threshold this afternoon cranky and near tears. I had intended to start easing them back into the routine a few days ago....but clearly THAT didn't happen! So we'll just make the best of it for the next couple of days and extend a little extra grace when fatigue and exhaustion get a little overwhelming.

I haven't really put much thought into any New Year's Resolutions for myself, other than the annual plight to get myself back in shape, and undo the last several months of no exercise and bad eating. Blah, blah, BLAH!! As a couple, Richard and I are really going to make a big push to finally get the last of our debt completely behind us this year. And just to clarify, the term "completely" means everything except the house and car. We got to this point last year and generally maintained our position, so we are ready to make the hard push to get it finished. Of course, this resolve is already being put to the test as we watch several of our friends/neighbors get new flooring, counter tops, and other "big ticket" home improvement purchases that we've longed to invest into our own home. Oh well....WE'VE GOTTA STAY FOCUSED!!

Wishing you a very VERY Happy New Year!

RSVP's - Are They A Thing Of The Past? You Decide

2010-11-22T18:20:00.005-06:00

Abby's birthday is smack dab in the middle of December, which is both, fabulous and horrible, all at the same time. So in an effort to escape the madness of trying to throw a birthday party during the middle of holiday season, we've made a tradition of celebrating her birthday on the weekend directly after Thanksgiving. It's just easier that way.

Of our three kids, Abby is the one who begins planning next year's party immediately after she finishes opening her birthday presents at this year's birthday party. She LOVES to celebrate the beginning of another fabulous year with her friends. After all, who doesn't like a great party, right?

This year she has chosen to throw her bash at a local joint with inflatables galore. You know, the kind with inflatable mazes, inflatable slides, bounce houses, etc. It has been a breeze to arrange the party - made a few phone calls, picked up a cake, and have drinks in a cooler waiting to be iced down. Ahhhh....bliss! Minimal work, and the party is set to go? BONUS.

My only gripe is that we have received RSVP's on about HALF of the invitations that were sent out. WTF?!? Isn't it proper etiquette to respond if a response has been requested?!?

Have we, as a society, regressed to the point that responding to an RSVP request has become a trivial inconvenience and unimportant? We're only talking about making a phone call here people! Nothing more than sending an email, making a quick call, or even a firing off a text message. It's not like you have to solve the health care debacle or bring our troops home from Afghanistan!!

It's also much easier for us to respond now, than it was for our predecessors in the early 20th century. We don't have the burden of sending one of our children or field hands into town advising Maude that the brood of unruly heathens will be attending their barn raising next weekend, along with a heaping plate of fried yard bird to share, of course. (yard bird = chicken)

Here are some good ideas of ways to decline an invitation, if you need some help:

I can't come because I have a bit of a tummy bug, and every time I throw up, I shit my pants at the same time. It's kinda like a shart...somewhere in between a shit and a fart. Grab an adult diaper and a raincoat then, cuz your invitation has just been REVOKED!
We probably shouldn't....my son has thick green snot oozing out of his nose and a croupy cough. No Vap-O-Rub or cough drops in these goody bags....NEXT!
We'll be driving back from the camp ground and will probably smell like a wildebeest. This is not a name-that-smell party...catcha next time!
Your daughter didn't come to my daughter's party. Oh, so we're playing the tit-for-tat game, eh? I get it. Move along now.
I'm in the process of alphabetizing my recipe cards according to the Dooey Decimal System. You're lame. You shouldn't be at my party anyway.
If I'm out too late one of the other "Sister Wives" will call dibs on my designated night with Kody. *gagging like I have a hairball*
We have a prior engagement. Simple. To the point. Flawless.

Bottom line: If someone sends you an invite that requests an RSVP....for the love of all that is Holy, RESPOND!

Burnt Out....Schmurnt Out... Blah Blah Blah

2010-11-18T05:48:00.000-06:00

Even as I sit here typing...I feel exhausted, lukewarm, and burnt out.

I had an epiphany yesterday while I was outside talking to my friend Amy. Did you know that Thanksgiving is NEXT THURSDAY?! Oh yeah. It is. And my kids will be out of school for the ENTIRE week.

The kids being out of school is a great thing - no lunches to pack or blaring alarm clocks early in the morning. NO HOMEWORK or Tuesday Folders. But the horror of this realization lies in the fact that the holidays have officially arrived, and the impending chaos is merely DAYS away.

I'll let you chew on that thought for a minute.....

Okay! Refocusing. Back to why I'm feeling the slow buuuuurn of BURN OUT?

There is always a list of things that I need to get done, errands to run, and items that need to be addressed. I have lists in my cell phone, lists in a spiral, mental lists, the family calendar to contend with, and items "not to forget" tucked under magnets on the fridge. It's the way I function.

Some might say, "Well, you need to create one big list and only use that one, single list." To those people I kindly say, "BITE ME!" If I existed and functioned solely in front of my refrigerator all day long, one list would definitely work. But alas....I do not.

Lately, the biggest pet peeve that I hear around the house is, "MMMOOOooommmMMM, you for got to (fill in the blank) again?!" It. Makes. Me. NUTS!

We have three kids.

Each of them have homework EVERY weeknight. More often than not, they have homework in two or three subjects, in addition to trying to squeeze in some "recreational" reading. Then there are the school projects. The word "project" strikes fear and loathing deep in the recesses of my soul. Although it is enjoyable to see the creative juices at work in my children, I immediately start to feel a little more overwhelmed as soon as the word is uttered aloud. It's just one more thing added to the load.

My JOB (the one that I drive to and get paid for) isn't overly stressful, but there are always things to be done. Billing, invoicing and past dues. Files to set up. Employee related items to address. Supplies to be ordered. Tax forms to file. And when the job is over for the day, I can't turn it off because I sit across the dinner table from my boss...and we "talk shop".

If I'm not doing things at home, I am running around doing things for the house, or working. Finding the time and manner in which to get "it all" done, and get "it all" done WELL is the bane of my existence. I struggle with personalizing my children's successes and failures, and the inference that their accomplishments are a direct reflection on my investment in them. I know it's NOT, but I am the one who gets the progress reports, receives the phone calls, sees the grades, and feels the pressure of knowing what they need to be working on....in addition to their already assigned homework. *grimace*

Maybe while the kids are out of school next week I'll be able to coast a little, take a few deep breaths and relax.

I NEED IT. Because I am burnt out.

When The Tooth Fairy FAILS

2010-11-10T08:01:00.007-06:00

The Tooth Fairy that visits our house is, shall we say, "challenged".

After countless mishaps and blunders, we have adopted a procedure, of sorts, to try and avoid the awkward morning moments when everyone exchanges the sad looks of disappointment. "She forgot again?" Yeah, THAT look.

The procedure goes like this:

The tooth falls out
Everyone gets really excited
The tooth NEVER goes upstairs, but rather is placed in an OBVIOUS location on the kitchen counter.
Children go to sleep with visions of mucho bucks dancing in their heads
Said children awaken the next morning to find that "mucho bucks" actually only means $1
Everyone gets really excited
Procedure repeats itself as the next tooth falls out

On the Friday before Halloween, Abby lost a tooth that she had been patiently waiting on to fall out. This was super exciting! We squeeled with excitement! We hugged, hooted and hollered! Then, she put her tooth on the counter (just as the procedure dictates) and waited.

The next morning we discovered that there had been no exchange. The tooth was still there, not mucho bucks. In an effort to dumb it down for the tooth fairy, she put her tooth in her special "Tooth Fairy" box and put it out on the counter. Again.

And once again, when she woke up Halloween morning, Abby found that there had STILL been no exchange. Who hires these losers?!?! So, in a last ditch effort, she decided that a note to the Tooth Fairy was in order. This is what she wrote:

Tooth Fairy pleace take my

tooth. it is in the big tooth

this is what it

looks like

(drawing of tooth) open it

Needless to say, the Tooth Fairy made the exchange that night. Finally.

The only thing that I could think of to console my daughter's dashed expectations of the loser Tooth Fairy? "I bet she's been a little confused, Abby. She's probably trying to figure out where the REAL teeth are versus all of the fake vampire teeth that kids have out on their dressers for their costumes this year."

Nice, huh?

Linking up with Wordful Wednesday over at pBd

Wordful Wednesday: Halloween

2010-11-03T07:55:00.006-05:00

Has Nacho Libre gone to the dark side?

NO!!! It's Nacho Cheese!!

Nacho Cheese practicing his awesome ninja moves....

lest some unsuspecting fool try to sabotage his trick-or-treat bag.

Ghoulish Vampiress

Here's my ghoul....standing still long enough for her

silly mother to snap a picture or two. "Oh Mom!"

Hope your Halloween was a blast, too!

Linking up with Wordful Wednesday

Chasing the Little White Ball

2010-11-01T19:15:00.010-05:00

Today Conner participated in his first high school golf tournament.

We've been anticipating this day for months, so it was a little hard to turn off the excitement and anticipation in order to fall asleep lastnight. Plus, I've been [somewhat] trying to mentally plan out this day for about a week now....if I should do to work afterwards, what time to head to the course, what I should wear, etc., so all of those thoughts were whirling around in my mind, too. Big decisions for a proud momma.

Conner hit some really great shots! He hit a 240-yard drive off of the tee box that was perfectly straight. Incredible!! On a par 3, he 7-ironed the ball onto the edge of the green from off of the tee box. W-O-W! There were several other really great hits that he made, but those were just a couple of the ones that made me want to jump out of the golf cart, hoot, holler, and completely disrupt play. :) HAHAHA

I am not generally a huge fan of golf, but watching Conner hit the sticks was REALLY exciting.

The Other Side of the Coin

2010-10-27T21:12:00.001-05:00

Our boys are thrill seekers and rambunctious, random comedians. The flip side of this nail biting roller coaster we have a wonderful daughter. She's dramatic, pre-hormonal, creative and moody, but she is our sweet buttercup....our baby girl.

Lately, there is drama on Abby's mind every time she walks in the door from school. There's a tale about someone who was mean to her on the playground, or someone who was not listening to the teacher again (eyes rolling and head bobbing for emphasis), and/or someone who just thinks that they are cooler than she is.... AS IF?!? And so it goes, that as this tender morsel of feminine youth develops into her own "self" I often wonder how she will handle herself when she is out there in the real world....and I'm NOT THERE WITH HER!?!

Will she be a leader or a follower?

What kind of friends will she choose?

Will she sit on the sidelines, or stand on a chair in the middle of the room and lip sync the latest hits while her friends sing back-up?

Will she be the tutor, or the tutored?

Will she set a good example for others, or be the kid that the other mothers scowl and whisper about under their breath?

I want her to be a spit-fire who knows who she is. A girl who won't take any guff off of boys who just want another dumb girl who will be lead around by the nose. I want her to be independent, not dependent. I want her to be fun and silly when it's time to have fun, but respectful and have poise when the occasion presents itself. She needs to respect authority, but not be afraid to push the limits when her honor, integrity, or rights are in jeopardy.

As I was going through some of my older "back shelf" emails the other day (you know, the ones that you skim over but don't really read until much later), I clicked on an email containing pictures of a Girl Scout event that Abby had attended in our area. As I was scrolling through the pictures I was pleasantly surprised at what I saw! Little Miss Personality was laughing, hugging, playing, crafting, whispering, listening, smiling, participating.....she was AWESOME! It was a treat to see her candid personality unveiled. She was vibrant, fun, and the life of the party!

And a BIG gold star goes to the mother of this awesome young lady!

Why, THANK YOU!

The Wooden Spoon Incident

2010-10-21T04:55:00.002-05:00

My youngest two are pretty close in age, and when they were younger there were many days when I felt like I was being tag teamed between two heavy weight boxers. When their behavior was "off", wrangling one of them sometimes meant that the other little scoundrel was taking full advantage of the situation by skillfully dismanteling another part of the house. And then there were the occasions when they were so out out of line (they were toddlers after all) that I would employ the backup assistance of my handy dandy wooden spoon when FIRM words and time-out weren't quite getting the job done. Don't judge.

On one such afternoon I had gone Round 8 with the dynamic duo and was seriously about to unravel at the seams. Too much mischief, sassy back talk, and bullheaded defiance had me worked into quite a lather, and the wooden spoon had gotten a little bit of a workout, honestly. I felt like I was running a losing race at the hands of my toddlers, and so I finally just tucked the spoon in the back pocket of my jeans. Ugh! I mean really - why put it away just to get it back out again?!

Somehow we managed to turn the corner and get things back on track and were making some headway. Realizing that the oldest would be getting out of school before too long, I decided to run to the drugstore for a few quick items that we needed. Once we got to the store, I was pleasantly surprised at how the two of them were behaving! It was like little aliens had taken over their bodies - they were sitting in the cart, being sweet to eachother, and using their inside voices - it was GREAT!

The thing that WAS interesting to me, was that people seemed to be paying quite a bit of attention to us as we were walking through the store. I mean, the kids were being really good and we were just minding our own business but people just kept giving me these weird looks! So when we were almost ready to get into the checkout line, I had an itch on my back that a reached around to scratch....and that's when I discovered that I still had the wooden spoon tucked in my back pocket.

Nice. No wonder everyone was staring at me! I was walking around the drugstore with two perfectly behaving children, but had a monster "enforcer" boldly displayed in pocket as if to say, "Yeah, I dare my kids to ask for Lik-M-Aid again!".

NOT a cool feeling.

Linking up with Mama Kat this morning.

Prompt #3 - Wardrobe malfunction

Saturday Morning Silliness

2010-10-20T07:14:00.003-05:00

Abby with one of her very favorite BFFs.

After a late night, followed by a sleepover, these two woke up ready to take on the world.

...more giggles and funny stories to share.

When I uploaded the photos from my camera this morning, these pix really stood out to me. I remember how much fun it was to have sleepovers, stay up as late as we possibly could, and eat junk food. LOTS of junk food!

Great memories!

Car Salesmen Continue to EARN Their Reputation

2010-10-17T07:21:00.009-05:00

Top 10 things that a car salesmen should never say:

I think this is how you get the seat to lay down... As he's getting ready to do a WWF pile-driver move on the seat to get it into the desired position. Nice job there Cletus. I bet those repairs won't be covered under the power train warranty, will they?
I would never try to take advantage of my customers, I walk with Jesus every day. Yeah, well He walks with me too, and He's saying that you measure an 9.8 on His full-of-crap-o-meter.
I've already been back to my floor manager THREE times to adjust the number - this never happens! REALLY? Because Diego earned extra Weight Watcher points walking back and forth when we purchased our last vehicle from this same dealership.
Now, if you were looking at a (lesser quality vehicle) instead of a (what we're negotiating on) I could easily get you into the number that you want to pay. But those vehicles are stupid, and that's why I want the pretty one.
I'm not really familiar with those cars. FAIL.
Now, we (the dealership) have to be able to make some money here. This is so stupid that no comment is really necessary.
Most of my customers look at the price that we give them (on the negotiating paper) and say "That sounds good to me!" To which I replied, "Well, then you should be out there busting your ASS to find those customers, 'cause I don't know ANYONE who takes a car salesman's first offer."
There's just no more room to negotiate. That's about the point when I smell blood because now I KNOW that we must be getting close to the "sweet spot". Buckle up Cletus!!
That car's only been on the lot for a few days. Then you guys have an aggressive marketing strategy since it was listed as "Just Reduced" on the internet....or was that my "room for negotiation" that just evaporated?
You wouldn't believe how the crash in the market has crushed car sales. Pretty brazen thing to say since this dude is pimping for an auto house that was bailed out by the government in the not-so-distant past. Wouldn'tcha say?

Skid Marks, a Sharpie, and Other Ramblings

2010-10-13T16:37:00.010-05:00

Lately I feel uninteresting, overwhelmed by motherhood, and seems to have a mild case of writer's block. Therefore, rather than force myself to write something that I am not behind 100%, I thought I would share some random conversations between my children and I.

Enjoy!

~~~

Sunday we were driving with just the boys in the car, and we were talking about clothes that we needed to get/replace before long.

Me: Lucas, we are going to have to go through and weed out some of your underwear, dude. You've got a bunch of drawers with some nasty skids and some holes in 'em.

Lucas: (without missing a beat) Well, it's cuz I fart!

....can't argue with that logic.

~~~

This afternoon when she came home from school:

Abby: Momma, guess what?!

Me: What?

Abby: *BEAMING* Today my teacher gave me a brand new Sharpie to keep in my school box!!

Me: Really? What color is it?

Abby: It's baby blue and it's brand new! I brought it home in my backpack so that I could use it a little bit. YAY!! I love new Sharpies!!!

Yep, she's mine all right. The only thing that could have made her day any better would've been if the teacher had given her a pink spiral notebook to go along with it. I'm so proud!

~~~

Last weekend Lucas had a falling out with one of the boys on our block, When he came in crying to tell Richard about it, this is how it went down:

Lucas: *emotionally tells his dad about the incident between he and a friend*

Richard: Well did you hit him back?

Lucas: NO.

Richard: You are going to have to start learning to stand up for yourself rather than running inside and fussing about it everytime. He shouldn't have ****ed you, but next time you need to punch him back, and make it count!

Lucas dries his tears up and goes back outside to play. As a ~~protective mother bear~~ precautionary measure, I decided to follow him out and read a book while keeping an eye on things. After about 10min I could see that Lucas is still pretty worked up and agitated, so I ask him what was up.

Lucas: I'm waiting for **** to come back outside so that I can beat him up!

Me: WHAT?!?

Lucas: Well dad said to hit him back next time, so that's what I'm gonna do!

Me: Well, I don't think your dad meant for you to come out and settle the score after the fact, he means for you not to take crap WHEN someone hurts you.

Lucas: Well that's what I'm gonna do! I'm not taking crap!

I marched back into the house and let Richard know that he needed to get himself outside PROMPTLY, and clarify the "ass kicking policy" before we had an even bigger problem on our hands... Nice.

~~~

The oldest can't seem to understand why I am not "on board" with letting him roaming aimlessly around his girlfriend's neighborhood on Halloween night. I mean really, they're "just going for a walk in the woods".

Now that I think about it, I'm starting to seem a little uptight to myself, too! I mean, it would make total sense to just let my hormonal-almost-driving-age teenager walk in the woods with boobies and groping hands, right? And surely letting them go unattended (unless you consider the other COUPLE of teenagers as chaperons) makes even more sense. They are teenagers, after all, and know more than we (the parents) do. Right!? Or do I just have it bass-ackwards again? I don't know. I might need a little help on this one.

Can I use my life line, Meredith?

~~~

Hunting For Wabbits!

2010-10-13T05:17:00.001-05:00

"We're hunting for wabbits!"

I love the uninhibited look of seriousness and

determination on their faces. You can almost sense the crazy

testosterone of little boys with the power of a pellet gun in their hands.

And here they are examining the target for accuracy.

This was Lucas' first time to handle a pellet gun, and merely stating that "he was excited"doesn't even begin to describe his exhuberance. His buddy had all the right gear - protective eyewear, targets, and a huge sheet of solid wood to mount the targets on. The wooden target mount particularly struck me as genius since little pellets are quite prone to finding their passageway to freedom in between fence pickets. :)

Not that we've learned this firsthand or anything... I've just heard.

Stop The Clock!!

2010-10-06T21:44:00.010-05:00

If I could stop time for 24 hours....

**Warning: This is not going to be deep or thought provoking. It's just where I am and what I would want to do at this particular moment in time.**

I would catch up on scrapbooking. I have so many pretty papers, stickers, and wonderful photos that are just dying to be put into a place that they can be shown off and adored. I have cute kids, in case you didn't already know.

I would go splurge on some new clothes. I rarely have time to shop BY MYSELF, and let's face it, even when I do have time...I'm rushed because there are other things that need to be tended to. I would catch up on all of the reality/trash TV that is dying to be watched on our DVR. Project Runway, RHWofAtlanta, RHWofDC, Brothers & Sisters, etc...

I would read. Currently reading Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. Need to be better about reading the B-I-B-L-E (are you singing the song in your head now?) so I would give that some love. Don't judge. I have room for improvement.

I would Facebook, Twitter, WWF/Scrabble, and BLOG.

In between all of these fun little ME THINGS, I would get a slice of White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle Cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory....and call some friends while I am jetting around in my car. Bluetooth is awesome, BTW.

It would be awesome.

....maybe I should find a reason for Richard and the kids to leave town for a day to two (or three), so that I can work this out! Hmmm....

Prompt #5 - If you could stop time for 24 hours, what would you accomplish?

Artistic Interpretation At It's Finest

2010-09-29T23:03:00.001-05:00

Lucas BURST through the door when he got home from school, one sunny afternoon. He was so full of purpose and determination that he could only manage to grunt or exclaim, "I need to find those glasses!" In his hands he held an art project, and it was imperative that he find the stash of 3-D glasses ASAP. Drawers were getting turned inside out, books strewn about, and miscellaneous odds and ends were getting jumbled and rearranged. The entertainment center was ransacked! After another minute or two of relentless digging, he finally found the 3-D glasses and put them on.

He intently looked at his project for a split second (or two) before yelling, "My teacher is a LIAR!"

I was SHOCKED at what I heard, and replied, "WHAT?"

"My TEACHER is a LIIIAAARRR!", he yelled again. Much louder than before. In case I didn't hear him the first time. Duh.

"Why would you say something like that?" I asked.

Lucas said, "Because she told us that this was 3-D art, BUT IT ISN'T!"

Exhibit A (front view)

Exhibit B (rear view)

His teacher's definition of 3-D art obviously didn't acheive the same expectations as the "Spy Kids: Shark Boy and Lava Girl" 3-D movie. Once I talked him down from the edge of insanity and explained to him what she REALLY meant by "3-D art", things were much better. It didn't remove the sting of disappointment, but it sure was awesome to watch my boy throw a complete hissy fit with those those nerdy glasses on. *giggle*

A week or two later, I had the distinct pleasure of running into Luc's art teacher in the school parking lot and sharing this story with her. She got quite a kick out of it, and was amused (rather than insulted) at being called a liar.

Prompt#2 - But teachers know everything!!

Write about a time when a teacher disappointed you.

I Hear Him Crying

2010-09-22T20:08:00.000-05:00

Friday, July 19, 2003

The baby has been throwing up for days now. It started out not so bad, but now he throws up every time he eats. He eats like he's starving...then he throws EVERYTHING up....and cries again because he's famished. I don't know what's going on, but I know that he's sick and needs to go to the doctor. Richard will have to take him because I can't....too many germs.

Lastnight I started getting chills. Chills shouldn't be a big deal, but I also started running a low-grade fever. I took some meds before bed, but by 3AM this morning the fever is 101.7*, my chest and back are assaulting me with pain and it looks like I'm going to have to go to the doctor now, too. DAMN IT!! This fever changes everything. Why does this have to happen NOW - the baby is soooo sick and I just don't have the strength.

We just got ahold of both the pediatrician AND the oncologist and have formulated a game plan. My mom is going to take me to see the oncologist while Richard takes the sprout to the pediatrician. As we scramble out the door, I grab the thermometer because I can feel myself getting warmer with every minute that passes. My fever was 101.7* and now it's up to 102*...what is going on!? By the time we make our way down to the oncologist's office I have managed to drink almost half a gallon of water right out of a jug that my mom had in her back seat. I am burning up! The thermometer is telling me that we better drive fast...it's going higher, and higher. PANIC. Is. Setting. In.

Once we get to the doctor's office, Edith, my chemo nurse, gets me right into a room to start my central line. She checks my vitals and immediately calls an ambulance. I am starting to lose consciousness and crash. She is talking calmly, but TELLING me to stay awake. "Stay with me Lesley. You aren't going anywhere Lesley. We've come too far Lesley. Girl, you hang on! Don't go to sleep Lesley. They'll be here soon. You're a fighter Lesley." By the time the ambulance gets me to the hospital my fever has hit 104.5*.

At the same time I am rolling into the ER, I find out that Richard and Lucas have received orders from the pediatrician to get down to the emergency ASAP and are one their way as well. Lucas is more sickly than we had thought, but they need to run tests to find out what's going on with him. I can hear the ER staff talking to eachother about how the baby coming in belongs to the breast cancer patient in Room #--.

As I am laying there in excruciating pain and feeling like a science experiment, Richard finally arrives at the hospital and rushes into the room to check and see how I'm doing. A flood of emotions washes over me when I see him....and as I glance to the doorway, I see them wheel Lucas by on a gurney.

I can hear my baby crying, but they won't let me see him.

Lucas has been put into the room right next to mine. Since they don't know what's wrong with either of us, we can't get near eachother.

We are so close, yet worlds away.

He's crying so hard!

All I can do is TRY to talk loud enough so that he can hear me - but I don't know if he can even hear me at all. It's a mother's job to soothe their babies when they're hurting and scared, but I can't even hold his little hand. Lucas is only five weeks old.

As the morning has progressed into afternoon, I've had a CT scan, MRI, and who knows how many fluids drained from my body for testing. When I came out of one of my scans, Richard let me know that he and Lucas would be leaving soon to be taken by ambulance to Texas Childrens for more testing. All I can do is lay here on my bed and pray. Pray, pray, and pray harder.

What if I don't make it? What if Lucas doesn't make it? What happens if we're both gone and just Richard, Abby and Conner are left....

Prompt #2 - Tell us about a day you were sure you wouldn't get through.

Obviously I made it and so did Luc. Lucas was diagnosed and underwent surgery for pyloric stenosis the following day. The doctors at Texas Children's are rock stars, and I have nothing but love and admiration for the work that they do on those tiny little growing bodies.

I was diagnosed with a staph infection in my bloodstream, and stayed in ICU for six days. The source of the infection was my port-o-cath which was removed post haste. Subsequently a PICC line was installed into my arm so that I could finish the remaining treatments of Taxol on my treatment plan.

Richard spent countless hours driving back and forth between hospitals to check on Lucas and I. My mother stayed with me and Richard's grandmother, Alice, stayed with Lucas.

On a particularly low day in ICU, I vividly remember praying and asking the Lord, "I cannot continue this battle in my own strength, You are going to have to cover the gap. But if this is how I am supposed to die, I accept it."

He carried me.

Aye, Me Lucky Charms!

2010-09-21T21:26:00.005-05:00

This picture makes me smile EVERY time.

We found these priceless treasures on clearance

and I laughed my ass off the whole way home

When I would look in the rear view mirror and see these two

carrying on a serious conversation about why they

should eat ice cream for a snack instead of cookies.

REALLY? Can I play along too?

XOXOX

Watching My Kids Grow Up Is As Comfortable As Having A Rock In My Shoe

2010-09-19T00:38:00.005-05:00

There once was a boy who was spunky,

He often said, "I'm Mommy's monkey"

"Grounded forever" I said.

A dull life he would dread.

But he went on and grew up instead.

Actually, he IS still spunky. He's also still my monkey. And I haven't stopped making the same old threats...."I'm going to ground you forever if you don't quit growing up".

Unfortunately, to no avail.

Weaving Golden Threads of Inspiration

2010-09-16T00:31:00.003-05:00

She is beautiful.

She is ornery.

She is a believer.

She is loving.

She is sentimental.

She is an amazing seamstress.

She is cheerful.

She is a hard worker.

She is a teacher.

She has a HUGE heart.

She is thrifty.

She is trustworthy.

She is a good example.

She is a friend to many.

She is creative.

She loves to travel.

She is always in my corner.

She is resourceful.

She has beautiful handwriting.

She is warm.

She sees life in full color.

She is honest.

She is forgiving.

She is a gracious hostess.

She is a leader.

She is considerate.

She is a homemaker.

She is optimist.

She is understanding.

She is an avid reader.

She has an engaging sense of humor.

She is a wonderful cook.

She is encouraging.

She is thoughtful.

She is my idol.

She is an inspiration.

I am her daughter.

She is my MOTHER.

Me - MOM - Kat - Karen

Prompt #2 - Describe a woman who inspired YOU.

The Dress Code Debacle

2010-09-13T14:58:00.012-05:00

This past weekend I took some time to go through the recent kid related emails that were piling up in my inbox. One of the items that I had been keeping on the back burner was the high school newsletter. These things drive me a little batty, but I do recognize that someone goes through the time intensive work to put it together, so I decided to check it out.

There was a lot of riff-raff to scan through. A few sections of interest. And THEN I got to the real meat of the newsletter - the "Dress Code for Special Events". The Homecoming dance is this weekend, and since it's been a few years since I was in high school myself, I thought it wouldn't hurt to give it a quick glance. I mean, really, how much different could things be?

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

The following were some of the high points:

Camisole backs (lace-up) are okay.
Boys must wear standard formal wear, which includes dark business suits and appropriate footwear.
No flip flops, tennis shoes, or athletic shoes will be allowed.
Proper and formal grooming is expected. No unusual hairdos or hair color.
Tattoos must be covered.
No rave party accessories, such as flow sticks, are allowed.
No costumes allowed.

And finally, my VERY favorite.... Drum roll please!

Underwear must be worn.

What the ****?!? The scariest part is that someone's child, uh-hum "young adult", actually went commando, or sans other normally necessary unmentionables for this item to even BE on the radar. Ugh.

Can I interest you in a lesson on STD's? Anyone... Anyone...

Life's Just Not The Same After Kids

2010-09-09T05:18:00.000-05:00

Prompt #1 - A list of things you no longer have in common with your single/childless friends...and why you love them anyways.

I buy my clothes for function rather than fashion.
Catching projectile vomit in your hands isn't gross, it's a skill that accomplishes two things at once - reduces the amount of clean-up required, and increases eye/hand coordination.
Air freshener in the bathroom isn't just to cover the smell of a stinky poo...it also helps to mask the odor created by boys that have problems AIMING.
Sanity is relative.
iCarley is a little more entertaining as time passes. Sad, I know.
My kitchen table isn't set with a centerpiece, placemats, chargers, and napkin rings anymore. It has paint, scratches, dried syrup, and marker stains on it...and I like it that way.
My DVD drawer has more kid DVD's than adult movies. And by "adult" I mean PG-13 and R....not porn.
Baby wipes are like a happy package of magic no matter how old my kids get...not just for baby shower gifts.
My idea of a clean car was flushed down the toilet when Conner started drinking from a sippy cup and there was enough food under the seat to feed a third world country.
Cooking dinner is rarely an option, it's a requirement.
This weekend I washed 2 loads of darks, 1 load of neutrals, 1 load of whites, 1 load of reds, 1 load of towels only, 1 load of green/blues, and 2 loads of sheets. Beat THAT, Single Sally!
My ass. The kids did this to me. Honestly, they did.
Saving money is usually short term rather than long term. What I save inevitably goes towards Christmas gifts, upcoming plans, or for the kid's birthdays.
Richard says that I have "mom hair", but I really don't give a rip. I can put it in a ponytail, up in a clip, or blow it out. FUNCTION is the name of my game, and I need something easy.
My carpet stains tell a story of our life with growing children...spilled syrup, sippy cups, markers, playing with make-up, etc.

Some days I envy the quiet, solitude, cleanliness, leisure, and uninterrupted lifestyle that others have. But then my redhead barges into the room crying because he fell off of his bike. Or Abby adds ANOTHER item to the list of things that she wants to have at her birthday party (that she's been planning for 9 months so far). Or Conner tells me that he has a project due tomorrow for a major grade...and everything is how it should be.

Thanks for stopping by & leaving a comment!

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To Have and To Hold? REALLY!?!

2010-09-07T14:08:00.003-05:00

This morning I went to my favorite local cake shop to order a cake for an upcoming special event. As I entered the shop, there was a couple sitting right inside the door with photo albums open, looking at wedding cakes. Now I THINK that ordering your wedding cake should be an enjoyable event that is a collaborative effort. Something that, once you've made a final decision, you eagerly anticipate the opportunity to savor and share the cake with your guests on the wedding day.

That wasn't quite the case with this couple. On the contrary, when this particular groom-to-be made suggestions or comments about something he saw in the photo album, his precious bride-to-be would berate him. She was rude, condescending, and unkind. She made statements like, "That's horrible" and "You aren't even using your head when you say things". And asking questions like, "Have you even paid attention to the plans that I've made?" It was NUTS! Then, adding even more insult to awkwardness, she said it all loud enough that no one in the shop could escape the bite of what she said.

After completing my order I left the cake shop wondering - How in the world could a man (or woman) love someone enough to take a public ass kicking like that over ordering a wedding cake? The wedding cake will be phenomenal - no doubt about it - it's the wedding that I'm worried about!

Maybe he should consider serving the cake at his "Breaking the Engagement" party?

*****

Cell Phone Dead Zone

2010-09-04T20:46:00.005-05:00

The teenage years are going to kill me. I'm quite certain that any natural color in my hair is bleeding out with every passing minute. Conner isn't even driving yet, and I already feel like he's got one foot out the door.

Texting is his life line. When he has his cellphone, Conner is working those buttons. We collect his cell in the evenings as a rule, because anything that needs to be "discussed" can certainly be addressed during daylight hours. I sound like a prude, but don't really give a rip. The phone is on my bill, so I call the shots.

Today Conner went to hang out with his friends, and said that he would call home after a bit. Any time he is gone he knows that he has to check in at least every two hours - it's a RULE. So after a couple of hours had lapsed and there was no contact, we started trying to track him down. Problem was that his phone had either run out of juice or been turned off because it kept rolling straight to voicemail. Seriously? I mean, this kid KNOWS when his cell is low on charge, because he doesn't want to miss anything. I get it - I am the same way. So for him to leave on less than at least half a cell is just idiotic.

The boy did not roll onto the street until 8:30pm...almost SIX hours after he left.

I haven't said much, which is not my usual schtick, but let him know that he is in seriously HOT water. There are no excuses that will get him out of the hole he has created. He left in the middle of the day and got home after dark without calling.

Lord, give me strength.

*****

Sand, Surf & SHARKS

2010-09-02T05:23:00.001-05:00

Growing up in East Texas, one of our favorite day/weekend trips to make was to head down to Crystal Beach and spend the day in the surf. We spent LOTS of time playing in the water, making sandcastles, hunting for sea shells, and having fun.

Let's be honest though, the coastal areas of Galveston and Crystal Beach aren't exactly known for having pristinely clear water. So as you walk farther and into the water, you start to see less and less of your feet, ankles, etc. Playing in the surf was wonderful, though! We could run, play, scream, dig, wallow in sand, and just be kids.

There were the occasional hazards of playing on the beach, of course. Stepping on shell fragments were particularly painful. We had to pay attention and make sure that we didn't step on any broken glass or bits of plastic...some people just don't understand the importance of cleaning up after themselves. Idiots. There were little fish that would nibble on your legs. Seaweed wasn't as much a hazard as it was annoying to have that prickly nastiness wrap itself around your leg...eeewww!!

And then there was the day that everything changed... (music from the Twilight Zone playing in the background)

I had seen advertisements on TV for the movie Jaws, and was horrified at the idea of such a LARGE human-eating-ocean-dweller that could quite possibly be lurking out there, waiting to gobble me up like a Scooby snack. There were also the countless episodes of National Geographic that our family loved to watch that depicted different fish of countless varieties...pretty fish, ugly fish, fish with whiskers, fish that jumped out of the water, and fish that BITE PEOPLE. Ack!

We had been at the beach for a while that day and were having a sandy blast! The kids were all digging around trying to find really awesome shells in knee-deep water. Murky water. There were shovels and buckets. When one of us would find something we would show it to the others, and the search would continue. As I am bent over, digging blindly in the obscure water *SNAP!* I got bit! Probably just a hermit crab, but I was scared to death and it hurt!

To this day I have a paralyzing fear of being in ocean, lake, or river water that isn't COMPLETELY crystal clear. It scares me to death. When we are boating, I won't jump into water that is less than 15ish feet deep for fear that I will get to close to the bottom or touch something. If the water is only that deep, I will back into the water with a float.

No rowdy water fun for this girl....unless we're in a CHLORINATED POOL! It gives me the heebie-jeebies just thinking about lake water!!! *shivers*

Prompt #1 - Childhood fears that you've taken into your adult life

BTW, thanks for visiting and leaving a comment!

Follow me, and I'll follow you back. :)

My Mismatched Missy

2010-08-30T09:57:00.001-05:00

Who'da thunk it?! A pair of mismatched socks are currently the prized item in Abby's wardrobe right now. It's almost too bizarre to wrap my head around, to be honest. When I saw these funkadelic lovelies in the shop I instantly fell in love with them, but almost passed on the purchase because my girl is soooo particular about certain aspects of clothing......matching, in particular.

More times than I can even stomach, I have gone through Abby's closet and drawers only to find clothes that she "loved so much" when we're in the store, but got no love once we got them home. It. Makes. Me. FURIOUS. My money tree hasn't been producing at the rate it was, so when I see spent money NOT going to use? Yeah, it kinda chaps my arss. I held my breath when I pulled them out of the bag, and to my surprise she LOVED them!

The "Terrific Trio" each wore a pair of crazy socks to school on Friday...

On Saturday we washed them and she wore them to a friend's birthday party...

She ended up spending the night with her friend after the party. And to my suprise, when we met up with them Sunday morning at church she had them on AGAIN! LOL (a picture from Saturday, but too cute not to post)

I couldn't be happier that she's so in love with the socks....but starting to think that we might need to invest in a few more pairs? Hey, at least he's not into tube tops and tramp-stamps at the age of eight, right!?! Things could always be a whole lot worse. HAHAHAHA!!

*****

Getting to Know You - 8/29/10

2010-08-29T10:19:00.004-05:00

1. If you accidently knick a car in a parking lot..Do you leave a note or do you get the heck out of there?

I get the heck out of there! CONFESSION - The only time that I actually did this though, was when I was in another town for a family funeral, and having a HORRIBLE, emotional, rotten day. I had several large flower arrangements that I was transporting back to someone's house and the rear view was almost completely obstructed. I ended up backing into someone else's car and dinged the bumper/tail light. I know....my moment of karma will find me, but I just couldn't take the stress, anger, guilt from another person on that particular day. I still feel rotten about it.

2. Love your body or plastic surgery?

Love my body. Had breast reconstruction, post breast cancer, and that was traumatic enough to keep me from going under the knife again for anything not considered medically necessary in the future. The rest of me will just have to age gracefully, I'm afraid.

3. What about your favorite blog(s) continues to drive you back?

I like blogs that are funny, heart-warming, sassy, but most of all REAL. One of my favorite blogs is Chaos Wrapped in Chocolate Covered Grins. She recently wrote a post about Bar-B-Que that had me in stitches! A must read.

4. What percent of your blog is BS just to make your life seem more interesting than it really is?

My stuff isn't BS - this is how it really goes down in my corner of the world. It's my quirky take on real life. :)

5. If you had to give up one type of meat for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Wild game. Duck, Rabbit, Buffalo, Moose, Caribou...add some others in for color and texture if you like.

6. How often to you eat out?

Five times a week, myself. Maybe once a week as a family.

7. Skinny jeans or boot cut jeans?

Boot cut - I love them. IF I EVER put on a pair of skinny jeans, please just slap the taste out of my mouth, okay? The word "skinny" shouldn't be in ANY of the vocabulary that one might use to describe my wardrobe.

8. If you caught your spouse cheating would you forgive, divorce, or plan your kill?

I would plan my kill, and take full ~~credit~~ responsibility. If the man is dumb enough to go there, he needs to stay there and figure out how to protect himself from the reign of terror that would be headed his way....just sayin'!

Have Template Envy - Seeking Treatment

2010-08-28T10:52:00.003-05:00

As I have been browsing, reading and perusing the bazillion fabulous blogs in the blogosphere I am developing a serious case of blog envy! Some of you people really have it goin' on with the background...the side bars....the header....signatures....fonts....etc. What's a girl to do?!?

I started out with a generic Blogger template. Loved it, embraced it, but felt that it was a little too "inside the box" after a while. So I ventured out and found some free template websites that were pretty cool. The current "look" is one of the free templates that I found. It's cute, fun, and cheery - just like ME! - but now I'm starting to get the itch again. NOT THAT KIND OF ITCH!!! The itch to CHANGE, silly! LOL

So I am asking you, fellow bloggy-divas and bloggy-dudes, for suggestions or ideas on how to get this blog kicked up to the next level....personalized with my own look and personality. I need a bitchin', bedazzled, bangin' BLOG! Something that is unique.

Please leave a comment with tips, ideas, or "connections".

Gracias amiga!

CORN-a-MOPE-ia....Not Cornucopia

2010-08-26T20:45:00.003-05:00

Our youngest is a food snob to the most severe degree.

Chocolate or vanilla ice cream only, and it should never have syrup, sprinkles, or anything "extra" on/in it.
Negative on the potatoes, unless they come in the form of french fries sans any trace of potato skin. Potato Skin = No Go
NEVER chicken on the bone. EVER.
He won't eat jelly because "on Spongebob they make jelly from jellyfish". Thanks Mr. A-hole Squarepants, I owe you one!
Waffles can only be the Lego's Cinnamon Toast variety....with syrup on the side...never touching.
Peanut butter....can't stand it.
Won't eat bread of ANY kind if it has butter on it. Period. Even pancakes.
Grannella (granola) bars are the enemy.
Most vegetables should be taken completely off the menu.
...and the list goes on, and on, and on, AND ON!

Sometimes this "hang up" of his is amusing, but mostly it's just completely maddening.

Like tonight. I decided that tonight would be "leftovers night", so I let Luc know UP FRONT (before he even left for school) that his options for dinner would be BBQ sandwiches, pot roast sandwiches, or Italian sausage and peppers....no other options. Immediately the wheels began to turn, and the look of disgust started to cloud his face, so I reiterated that ultimately he only has TWO choices - EAT, or STARVE. It makes no difference, to me, at this point.

So after we hash out his disappointment with the dinner selections (and my inability to be flexible and make something different), he hops on his bike and rides off to school. He has better things to do with his day, meanwhile, I am still stewing with frustration. While I am stewing, I happened to recall an evening several weeks ago when I decided to serve corn on the cob with dinner instead of canned corn. Everyone in my family (including the food snob) LOVES CORN, so I thought this would be a nice change to go along with our grilled pork chops, etc. ....That's what I thought.

Dinner was served, and this was the look that I got.

After listening to him moan and groan about how he has "always hated" corn on the cob, Richard explained that corn on the cob is just the same as corn out of a can. The only major difference, one is still on the cob, and the other isn't. This is the look he gave Richard. :) I can only imagine what he was thinking.

No dice on trying to convince him otherwise. So Richard, being the good father that he is, decided just to cut Luc's corn off of the cob since the cob seemed to be such a big issue.

In the end, he only ate two bites and ditched the rest. He still maintains that corn on the cob is gross. *forced, sarcastic smile*

Dear Lord,

When he is grown, 30ish, and married to a wonderful girl that we all adore, please consider sending Mr. Picky a grandbaby for me to spoil, that will be a picky eater just like himself!? Just one, fussy, hard to please offspring would be great. Pretty please? With sugar on top? (Mr. Picky does like sugar.)

Yours truly.

*****

The Definition of Quiet

2010-08-23T12:52:00.002-05:00

quiet \qui"et\ verb

1. the quality or state of being quiet, or in repose; as an hour or a time of quiet.

2. freedom from disturbance, noise, or alarm; stillness; tranquillity; peace; security. and join with thee, calm peace and quiet.

3. silent, noiseless; peaceful, tranquil; still, lacking activity; speaking very little

This is what I am listening to right now....quiet. No one is talking. The TV is off. No action figures have come alive and are seeking to take over the universe this afternoon. Rock Band is on hiatus. The chitter chatter of little voices is missing. Ahhhh..... Silence IS golden. Anyone who says otherwise is a LIAR!

Abby was so excited to see all of her friends and walk to school with them this morning. She practically BOUNCED down the stairs, fully dressed, and ready to have her hair done. This happy girl is the one I love to see in the mornings, instead of the snarling, moody diva who just can't find the right clothes to wear.

Lucas, on the other hand, said, "I don't think this is going to be a very good year" as we were almost to the front doors of the school. One of the boys in his class whines a lot, apparently. As far as he is concerned, the jury is still out on whether 2nd grade will even be worth waking up for....his teacher will have her hands full with Mr. Cynical.

And then there's Conner...oh, Conner. I thought that this was going to be a piece of cake - no big deal sending him off to high school. I think that watching him get into his dad's car to go to school may have been equally as difficult for me to watch as his first day of Kindergarten, if that's even possible. I maintained my composure all morning, but when I took Abby to her class (her teacher was also Conner's 3rd grade teacher) it happened....I. Broke. Down. I was "that mom". You know, the one who becomes a boo-hooing puddle of snot and mascara? Yep, that one. It was a horrible display of raw, my-baby-has-grown-up, and where-did-the-years-go emotion. If the classroom cameras were rolling, someone will get a good laugh later!

Oh, the roller coaster of emotion that parents ride. Good grief!

*****

The Countdown to the Tardy Bell

2010-08-22T19:38:00.006-05:00

Right now my two littlest people are sitting on the couch reading "Green Eggs and Ham". They each have their own copy to read from, and are reading aloud. It's a competition to see who can finish it first...and a battle to see who can read with the most excitement and the loudest voice. Fun stuff!

While the reading chaos is going on, my mind is running a million miles per hour. For us, school starts tomorrow so it's time to check, double check, and triple check to make sure that all of the preparations have been accomplished. Even though I have been methodically getting things done, it's irritating that I still have an equally daunting list of things that need to be tended to. Just when I think that I have a handle on things....I realize that I don't.

Richard and I ventured into the mystic world of the children tonight (aka upstairs), and helped them lay out their clothes for the week. Lucas is of the opinion that laying out his clothes for tomorrow only, is sufficient. This makes me feel the need to breathe into a paper bag. Abby had to be reminded, FIRMLY, that we are not doing morning drama again this year. She is notorious for changing her clothes after she has already gotten dressed because "I just don't like that". OH JUST SHOOT ME, PLEASE!?! Conner, on the other hand, was so thorough as to even lay out a pair of underwear along with each outfit AND shave again. I think it's fair to say that he is really looking forward to his first day as a Freshman!

Downstairs, in the final staging area, things are prepped and ready to go, too! The backpacks are arranged. Lunch kits are set out on the counter, just waiting to be filled. Updated school information forms have been completed and paper clipped for the teachers. My camera even has a fresh battery loaded in it. ....And Richard is in the kitchen making muffins for their breakfast! Such a good dad.

Even though I've been excited about school starting since the day school let out for summer vacation, there are some things that I am honestly going to miss. Waking up without a screeching alarm clock. No homework. Going to the pool to escape the heat and meet up with friends. Sonic Happy Hour with the kiddos. Taking the kids to the early movie and letting them eat popcorn for lunch. (Such a good mom, I know.) Making (and changing) plans on a whim just because we want to. All of the HUGS, kisses and sweet smiles.

It's gonna be a good year!!

Heaven = Back To School

2010-08-17T21:51:00.003-05:00

The Staples Back-to-School commercial is my all time favorite. Watching the dad skip behind the shopping cart, joyfully toss pads of post-it notes into his basket, and the look of sheer dread on the children's faces as they follow behind him....my giddiness can't be contained.

I channeled this same world of euphoria on Sunday afternoon as I was sorting through huge piles of the kids' school supplies. With empty copy paper boxes just waiting to be filled, we went down the list(s), checked them twice, and got everything separated out, labeled, and ready to be "cheerfully" delivered to their classes. :) Meet the Teacher is on Thursday....and I am READY!

Summer has been A BLAST! Afternoons chillin' at the neighborhood pool were wonderful. The oldest went off to camp for a few weeks. We were able to spend time visiting with some treasured friends in Missouri. A trip to New Braunfels to enjoy the water slides/rides at Schlitterbahn was a first for the two youngest and myself - awesome fun! BUT. All that being said, I am ready for the school year to finally begin again.

Working odd hours, while trying to juggle the kids and make sure that they enjoy their summer, has been a bit of a head circus for me. It feels like the day is fragmented without being able to pay full attention to a specific task or need completely. Isn't that how the TRUE life of a mom really looks anyway? Juggling, working, making adjustments, loving on them, and then going to bed tired every night? Yeah, I thought so, too.

So this week, we focus and finish getting prepared. Then, on Monday, I will roll past the school and slow down just enough so that they don't get road rash when I kick them out the doors...and cheerfully head off to breakfast with my friends!!

CHEERS! to breakfast with friends...and thinking of my sweet muffins embarking on their new school year. :)

Parent-Teacher Conference

2010-08-12T09:13:00.000-05:00

The craziest thing I ever got into trouble for as a youngster was LISTENING. I know, it's crazy. My parents were horrible. While all other parents are hollering at their kids to used the two ears that the good Lord gave 'em, my parents were punishing me for using mine.

Background information: I am in 2nd grade, and my mother has been called for a parent teacher conference with Ms. Jones (not her real name). My family lives in a really small town in the north west. My father is the plant superintendent at an oil refinery. We eat dinner at the kitchen table EVERY night and talk, talk, talk.

Ms. Jones: Mrs. Mom, Lesley is doing great in her class work. She needs to work a little more on her math facts, and cursive writing, but she's right on track and doing well.

Mrs. Mom: Oh, great. She loves school and we will continue working on these things at home. (blah, blah, blah)

Ms. Jones: By the way, I have a question. How did Lesley find out that I am living with my boyfriend and that we are unmarried?

Mrs. Mom: *gulp* Umm....

Ms. Jones: The reason why I'm asking is because Lesley has been telling all the kids on the playground these things, and we're basically sinners to the worst degree. How would she know that I am living with my boyfriend?

Mrs. Mom: *GULP* (I'm sure that my mother was doing some pretty fancy footwork at this point in the conversation)

Ms. Jones: And, by the way, Lesley has been cussing like a sailor on the playground. She's been using the "F word" in every variation imaginable.

The rest of the dialogue is somewhat unclear because at this point in the "recap" (screaming rant) my mom has completely LOST her cool and is suffering from the most severe case of humiliation imaginable, at the hands of little old me. She was FURIOUS. No wait, that's an understatement. My mother was a red zone case in Cesar Milan's terminology.

And just to clarify - YES, I was totally correct about Ms. Jones. She was living with her boyfriend and they were unmarried. My dad had come home from work one night, was "talking shop" at the dinner table with my mother about a dude at work. How dude's girlfriend was a teacher, her first name was **** (same as my teacher's name), and there were a few other minor details discussed that added up with what I already knew about Ms. Jones. I started connecting the dots...things started falling into place....and VOILA! I had gossip so scandalous and juicy in the world of 8 year olds, that everyone (well, a few friends) were arguing to see who could sit next to me at lunch.

I WAS LISTENING.

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop

Prompt #4 - The craziest reason I ever got in trouble as a child.

Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment! Follow me and I'll follow you back.

I've Been A Very Bad Girl

2010-08-05T05:41:00.000-05:00

Dear Richard,

Sometimes I have a hard time behaving myself, it's no secret.

It's virtually impossible for me to hide how I feel about something - it's written on my face and evident in my body language. Conforming is not one of my strongest qualities, either, because honestly, it gets old after a while. When people try to be the boss of me, it makes me a snappish. And if I can't be in control, then I should pretty much just take my toys and go home...it's just not going to work out for us.

This brings us to the next, obvious topic....PUNISHMENT.

Giving me chores is unfair. Just look at me! Housework has aged me far beyond my years, and now I look like I am 38ish?! There is NO LOVE in giving someone a mop, or eight baskets of laundry and asking them to get it done. You should seriously reconsider your angle. Organizing the filing cabinet is also cruel and unusual punishment. There are no windows or people to talk to in the closet, and I would get bored. Considering the mischief that our kids can get into when they are bored, we probably shouldn't risk it.

After thoughtful consideration there IS a punishment that I think could adequately fit any offense committed. If you REALLY want to get me where it hurts, send me away from the house. Send me away from the children, the recipe scouring for dinner-make-ready, and the busy hours of homework every afternoon that I cherish so dearly. Separation from these treasured parts of my day would be enough to absolutely crush my spirit. If you really wanted to make my "mommy-time-out" even more torturous and consequential, it should be mandatory that the MTO also have A PEDICURE as part of the punishment. Since I hate to have have my feet rubbed, massaged, and fussed over, this would really be an effective way to show your disapproval of my horrific behavior.

Let me know what you think. I have an appointment scheduled for 6:30 tomorrow evening - a time of day that I love the most.

Your Loving Wife

Prompt #2 - If you were put in "time out", where would

you want to be placed and why?

BTW - Thanks for visiting and leaving a comment!

Follow me, and I'll follow you back. :)

*****

I'd Like To Thank The Academy...

2010-08-04T10:40:00.001-05:00

Today I got my VERY FIRST BLOGGY AWARD! Woo Hoo!

My friend over at Ethically Ambiguous

hooked me up a wonderful compliment AND this cute little piece of

blog art to hang on my "wall". Thanks EA!!

Here are the Rules:

1. Thank and link back to the person who gave it to you.

2. Share SEVEN things about yourself.

3. Pass the award on to 15 bloggers who you recently discovered, and who you think are totally awesome.

4. Contact the bloggers and let them know that they have won.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Soooooo here goes!

1. A huge thanks, again, to Ethnically Ambiguous for sending this awesome award my way! Be sure and check her blog out - you'll be glad that you did!

2. Hmmm.... seven things about me.....

** I ~heart~ reality TV. Seriously. It amuses me to watch drama and chaos unfold on the tube. Real life (even if it's somewhat scripted life) can be extremely entertaining.

** I am the oldest of 7 kids. Three brothers and three sisters.

** I talk tough, but I really do love my children, adore my husband, and wish that I were better at keeping a spotless house. Actually, the last statement was a blatant LIE - housekeeping makes you ugly.

** I am grateful for the multiple moves that my family made during my growing-up years. I feel like it taught me to make friends, and how to be a good friend to others. If you don't agree, it's because you aren't nice and your shoes are ugly.

** One of my very best friends of ALL TIME was my mother-in-law, Beverly. She passed away suddenly in 2001, but still visits me in my dreams. I would give almost anything for a biiiiiiig hug from her and to know what she thinks about the mother that I've become. THAT's the kind of MIL that I aspire to be.

** Until just a few months ago, my husband of 17 years wasn't even aware that I played/play piano. :) I took lessons for years, and loved to sit, sing, and play. Since marrying, it just wasn't something that I had considered doing, until the idea of looking for a a piano came up recently.

3. Oh, the love that I have for these bloggy divas....

Chaos Wrapped in Chocolate-Covered Grins - Not only is she my favoritest cousin in the whole wide world, she is clever, crafty, and a BRILLIANT blogger. A "must follow" - if you aren't already doing so. Go check her out.

C.Mom - First, she is a ROCK STAR cancer survivor. Second, she has a great sense of humor, and appreciates the value of a good bottle of wine.

Kingdom First Homeschool - If you are searching for fun, crafty ideas of things to do with your kiddos....she's your girl! I would LOVE to see her stash of craft supplies - I bet she has glitter in every shade imaginable.

Momma Made It Look Easy - Her writings and excerpts on moxie are awesome! She taps into the ornery, sassy, stand-up-and-fight feelings that lie within each of us. I always knew that I had moxie...I just didn't know that there was an alluring term for it.

The Scholastic Scribe - Her photos capture a story or moment all by themselves.

Shallow Coffee - We share the same feelings on how to approach filling in the blanks on a drivers license renewal. There's always wiggle room in there somewhere, right?

The Gruneisen Family - Food, books, stories about her daughter....AND she shares my love for reality TV. The trashier and more ridiculous the better, in my opinion! BTW, have you checked out "You're Cut Off?"...in-san-i-ty.

The Churchill Family - The photography skillz this lady has are mind-boggling, and she's she's fun to follow, to boot!

The Ninja Blogger - WOW! This blog CRACKS ME UP! If there is something to be said, the Ninja doesn't mince words, she just puts it out there. Why put up facades or false pretenses? She gets props for cojones and entertainment factor. Love it!

Paisley Passions - This is one crafty lady! She can take something random that I would totally not pay a single ounce of attention to, and *POOF* create magic.

Fighting, Birthing, Fighting....& Now WRITING!

2010-08-04T01:21:00.003-05:00

Richard is asleep. He's probably dreaming of playing the 17th Hole at Cypress Point again, while I am feverishly typing to share that I have discovered what my next focus in life is going to be.

It will begin as something primarily for myself.

It will be therapeutic in nature.

It will be painful and joyful at the same time.

It is what I feel called to do right now, my next chapter.

I am going to WRITE.

When I was laying in bed earlier, I started randomly thinking about Abby and Lucas' relationship with each other. How they can fight like cats and dogs one minute, and then ask if they can make a tent and sleep in the playroom the next? As I was pondering them, I began to wonder how my battle with breast cancer must have affected Abby as a toddler. A random smattering of thoughts rolled through, and then I recalled a specific time when she and Conner went to stay with my mother.

Abby was due for her shots - I can't remember which set. One or two of her immunizations were live viruses, and because I was already undergoing chemo we couldn't be around each other for a specified length of time after she received the shots. The thought that Richard had taken Abby and Conner to get her her shots, and that someone had been there waiting to load them both up in the car and drive them 500 miles away to wait out the time, just hit me like a ton of bricks! My precious 18 month old daughter who loved to crawl into bed and take long naps with mommy, was going on a trip so that her mommy could continue my treatments, grow the baby in my belly, and maintain a germ-free environment.

See, that's the funny thing about cancer. When you are fighting it, you miss a LOT of details and events going on around you. You're focused on rest, making sure that you are healthy enough to stay on schedule with your treatments, the calendar LOADED with doctors appointments, and getting even MORE rest. You don't mull things over and over in your mind because, quite frankly, you're in damage control mode. As a result, many things get swept under the rug, you move on, they become insignificant moments....until one night when you're just laying in bed. Thinking.

So I have pulled out my journals, my logs, the scribbled notes, miscellaneous information, and I am going to write. Nothing significant may ever come of my recounting and prose, but it WILL serve as an account on how God's hand has worked mightily and was ever present in our journey.

*****

Lt. Jim Dangle Finally Caught Me (Speeding Ticket)

2010-08-02T19:45:00.008-05:00

Today my affinity for that irresistible pedal on the right finally caught up with me. The fearless Lt. Jim Dangle caught me in a speed trap after YEARS of running the streets and highways of Houston like it's a NASCAR short course. He caught me flying over an overpass going 75 in a 60....blah, blah, blah. He caught me fair and square. Just write it up dude, okay?

There have been plenty of tickets over the years, but just not any SPEEDING tickets. Tickets for seat belts, registration, expired tags, WARNINGS (tons of those), having a tail light out...you name it.

My last significant run-in with the law:

Sept. 2008. It was in the middle of the afternoon, and I had no idea why the DPS was following me with flashing lights. When Officer Tran (his real name) walked up to my window and asked for my license & registration, he proceeded to explain that he was pulling me over FOR NOT USING MY BLINKER! *crickets chirping* I was like, "Whaaaaaa?"

This joker was serious! And I. Lost. My. COOL.

I sat in my car and SCREAMED! I screamed obscenities. Screamed in bewilderment at how "not using a blinker" was even worthy of stopping someone. I even made derogatory remarks about HIS MOTHER. Yep! I did it. Shamelessly, too! BUT, before you judge, please note that Hurricane Ike had hit about two weeks prior and our power had been out this WHOLE time. It had been miserable. We were making the best of an extremely challenging situation, and this was the final straw. Of all the things to worry about in my world, whether or not I used a blinker was a complete joke. It gave the work ridiculous a whole new meaning.

Tran still wrote the ticket and gave it to me. JERK. I am not a complete believer in karma, but I do believe that some things do, eventually, revisit you. *insert evil thoughts* I am hoping this revisits him in spades.

So today I am rolling the clock back to ZERO, and wondering how long I can manage to stay in the good graces of our fearless traffic patrol.

Sending some *u-hmm* love out to Lt. Dangle tonight. :)

*****

Open Mouth...Insert Cowgirl Boot

2010-07-30T14:58:00.010-05:00

I love the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo. Oh. Yes. I. Do. I especially love it when hot young hunky men are singing, dancing, and strutting their goods up on stage for my friends and I to ogle at. It's like Santa just delivered a belated Christmas gift to me in mid-March. A really, really great gift if it happens to Keith Urban. Just give me a drool bib and turn your head in the other direction if you can't hang.

Oh wait...that's not the point of this installment. Focus, focus, FOCUS. The point is that sometimes when you are making fun conversation, and you are overcome with your own hilarity, SOMETIMES your wise cracks fall a little to close to home for your listener. Grab a seat cowpoke and hang on to your boots!

Setting: yours truly is sitting in the hairdresser's chair

Mood: fun and chatty

Characters: Moi and the hairdresser, we'll call her "STAR"

The curtain raises....

Star is seen cutting my hair with the speed and ferocity of Edward Scissorhands, and talking at the same speed. She's talking so fast that I have to ask her repeat herself numerous times. I don't know if she's on crack, or just lives on fast forward, but I feel like it's a match up of the tortoise and the hare. So there I sit....hair flying....we're chatting up a storm....and she mentions that she's going to the HLS&R.

Camera zooms in to catch the conversation....

Star: I have a date tomorrow night and we are going to the roooodeo. I haven't ever been to the rodeo in Houston before, so it'll be my first time, and I don't know what to wear. It's so weird.

Me: Oh my gauuu, I love going to the rodeo! Used to hate it, but my sister always gets the best seats and takes me with her. Good seats, plus free tickets? Yeah, you learn to love the rodeo really quickly. Who's playing tomorrow night?

Star: Brad Paisley. I don't listen to country at all, but I have heard that he's really good. I just don't know if I want to go the rodeo, though. Kinda weird place to take a date.

Me: BP will be really good. Haven't ever seen him before but heard that he puts on a good show. The RODEO part is really great to watch too. (insert description of events, my favorite parts of the rodeo, etc, etc) And besides, even if you aren't really a fan of the rodeo it's a GREAT place to people watch.

Star: Oh damn, that's my favorite sport!

Me: Well, then you will love it for sure! It's like someone took one of those trashy Walmart's from one of those back-woodsy, deep East Texas towns like Cut-N-Shoot, you know, where brothers and sisters marry each other, and just dumped it out!

Star: I grew up in Cut-N-Shoot. (BTW, Cut-N-Shoot is a real honest to goodness town here in Texas)

Me: *GULP* Wait. Whaaat?

Star: I grew up there. I hated it so much that I had my Daddy transfer me to ****** High School and drove me every morning, but that's where all of my growing up years were spent.

Me: *awkward silence* Well, you'll have a good time anyway. *subject change*

Camera zooms out. Curtain closes.

True story. No exaggerations. Star just kinda laughed the conversation off and let it go that day. Luckily, when I went back to see her it was evident that she still didn't hold a grudge and she didn't scalp me. Either that, or the fumes from all the chemicals have fried the "Tacky Things That Idiot Clients Have Said To Me" portion of her brain. WHEW!

*****

She's Got CATtitude

2010-07-29T00:10:00.004-05:00

Mirror, mirror on the wall

Whose the most ornery cat of all?

She has grey fur, green eyes captivating

Be on your toes, wicked presence awaiting.

No love does she want, independance is better,

By herself, she loves best, obscurement she'd rather.

I love her, I do, she's my favorite cat,

I hold her and squeeeeeeze her, my playful attack.

She swats and she hisses

No sweet kitty kisses

She's sassy and moody

Aloof, dark and broody.

But when least expected, we're blessed with her presence

Her hiding place voided, she makes an appearance.

She finds me and loves me, so sweet and so cuddly

My Phoebe, my darling, my best napping buddy.

Mama Kat's Writers Workshop:

Prompt #2 - Write a poem for your furry friend.

BTW....follow me and I'll follow you! Thanks for visiting & leaving a comment.

*****

Change In Your Pocket? Or Change For Good?

2010-07-28T15:46:00.001-05:00

It's raining again today. Grey. Overcast. And change is in the air. It's almost tangible. The big question on my mind; Is it just ME that's changing, is it the people around me, or a combination of both? Hmmm.....I say "YES" to all of the above.

Lately I find myself on pins and needles waiting to see if a friend is actually going to follow through on making plans that we've discussed. It's increasingly frustrating when my questions, comments, or messages aren't returned or acknowledged. And mostly, I'm more aware that things are going on around me where I'm not included, or finding myself wishing that I had been included. Honestly, who wouldn't want to have fun 'ol me around anyway, right?!? ~hardy~har~har~

For the past several years I have been working my part time J-O-B a few days a week, and then making plans with my cohorts on the remaining days. I like going out to lunch, meet for a pedicure, run errands, go shopping. Basically, I am up for whatever sounds like fun and is the most indulgent option available.

The fly in the ointment, has been adjusting to the varying rolls that each of my friends play in their respective households...if they work, volunteer umpteen hours at the school, go to school themselves, still have children at home, have groups and clubs that they belong to...the list is endless. We are all going 90mph, in different directions, with a to-do list a mile long, and soundly equipped with the desire to TRY and meet the needs of each of our kids and hubs...in the space of time between sun-up and sun-down. Our lives are hectic across the board.

Personally speaking, this feeling of sulkiness and the need for self examination makes me wonder if there might even be an underlying need to expand MY OWN horizons. Could it be that while my kids have been growing up, making friends, and learning about the world around them, I have become so consumed with managing the day-to-day operations of LIFE, that I have overlooked some of my own needs? This is highly possible.

I feel alone, but I know that I am not. There are millions of other women (and men) who I'm sure find themselves in a lull with seemingly no one around them who they feel would really "get it". That isn't the case either. We each have value, and contribute in our own way to the bigger picture.

SOOOO, today I am resolving to find a new passion. ~No, sicko, not that kind of passion.~ I am going to find a new passion that is for my own personal development and benefit. Something that adds a new facet to who I am and what I have to offer.

Once I figure it out, I'll let you know!

*****

Diagnosis: Swimmers Ear

2010-07-26T17:48:00.002-05:00

Today, in an answer to my deepest desire to hear from my son, I got a call from Kamp. It seems that the man-cub has swimmers ear. He's six hundred miles away, and just like any other red-blooded male I know, he's finally made his way to the infirmary because "it really hurts" and can no longer just be ignored.

DAMN. IT.

Conner told *Nurse Betty* that his ear was bothering him a couple of weeks ago, but he never mentioned anything related to aches or pains to yours truly. And so, in addition to the aching down deep in my soul that my son is so far away and hurting, I also had the honor of sounding like an obtuse mother who wasn't paying attention to my son's anguish before shipping his butt off to Kamp. That's what any good mother would do, right?

Well, thank goodness that there was no hint of judgement from *Nurse Betty*. She clearly exhibits the savvy compassion required to treat the teenage population, while also soothing the nerves and fears of the mothers/fathers who miss their teenagers. THE GIRL GOT SKILLZ!! She advised that Conner has orders to stay out of the lake, the pool, and away from the water slide until she "clears" him. At dinner tonight she will track him down again and evaluate how he's doing.

Having the full, undivided attention of one of the staff, I took the liberty of asking *Nurse Betty* to kindly mention to C that his mother would LOVE to hear from him, and misses him terribly. This gave us each a good (on the edge of freaking emotional) giggle, because she also has kids at Kamp but they're not at the same location with her. She, like me, scours the Kamp website every evening looking for pictures of her kids...wishing for a letter...wondering what wonderful things they are doing on any given day....the same song and dance.

If I could see Conner for just five minutes, I would hug him FIERCELY. Then I would bend him over my knee and spank him like a naughty two-year-old for not writting me yet! LOL Obviously this is an exaggeration, but I am certainly not above a good-humored pop or two, for emphasis. :)

*****

What do get when you combine GAS and SLUSHES?

2010-07-23T16:00:00.002-05:00

On Tuesday we stopped to get gas on our way back home from dropping Conner off in Missouri. (We didn't do a local summer camp this year.) Anyway, we decided to stop and address several issues at the same time...a bathroom break, fill up on gas, stretch our legs for a minute, AND to get a Sonic slush. As we were pulling into the station (a combo Shell/Sonic) the back seat conversation went down like this:

Lucas: "Hey Abb, what kind of slush are you gonna get?"

Abby: "I don't know. Prob'ly watermelon. What are you gonna get?"

Lucas: "Hey Abb, we're gonna get gas AND slushes." (he forgot to answer what flavor as soon as the crude, silly humor was triggered in his brain)

Abby: "Slushes and GAS?" *snicker*

Lucas: "GASSY SLUSHES!!!" *giggle*

Abby: "Slushes that GIVE US GAS!!!" *roaring laughter*

The chuckling and silly comments continued until we were separated by the Men's and Women's restrooms, respectively. I could even hear Lucas lauging to himself while he was taking care of business and I was outside the door! HAHAHAHA!!

Random kid humor is goooood stuff!

*****

Mr. Smoochy Cries "FOUL!"

2010-07-22T07:42:00.002-05:00

Being the mother of a 15 yr old male is an interesting roller coaster. Any preconceived notions or rigid agendas should be left at the door...along with your sanity. I've had "the talk" with Conner too many times to count. We've talked about almost every subject under the sun, in meticulous detail...some conversations more awkward than others. But we've managed to address all of his inquiries honestly and directly. Along with the importance of sexual health, I also try to impart the personal values that we feel Conner should have for himself as a growing young man. The world that he lives in is MUCH more liberal and in-your-face than the world his father and I knew during our growing up years. The word SCARY would be a good place to start.

I have often wondered if these sporadic dialogues ever sink in. If they give him pause for thought as he navigates the wonders of teen hood. Does he ever take my words seriously, or am I just full of hot air? Am I an over exaggerator who takes things waaay too seriously? Hmmm....let's examine this a little further, shall we?

It's 2010, school's out for summer (sing the song if you must), and Conner has a new girlfriend. Not a shocker. As soon as I learn one girlfriend's name, the wind changes and he has a new one. It's been this way since 6th grade. ANYWAY, *sweetie* was the new honey and he was really excited about her. They talked on the phone, texted, saw eachother at the neighborhood pool - pretty tame stuff. As his birthday came around the two of them started cooking up a plan to go do something together, so we agreed to let him go to the local water park with *sweetie* and her family for the day. They had a great time, it was fun, blah blah blah.

Move forward about two days.

Conner's phone has started blowing up with text messages. He couldn't fire off one text without another one chiming in while he was typing - complete insanity! Not only was the texting about to put me over the edge, but he seemed to be on a pretty short fuse that day as well. I finally had to put my foot down and tell him to turn it off and hand the phone over. I am an admitted text-a-holic myself, but his phone was rolling in texts like a slot machine?!? Enough is enough. As we started digging into the cause of the commotion, Conner was really honest about it all, and said that he had broken up with *sweetie* because "all she wants to do is make out, and I want to do other things with my time besides just that".

WOW!

I couldn't believe my ears! After all of our talks about making good choices, respecting girls even if they happen to be saying "YES", the whole kit-n-caboodle...HE SAID NO?!? I was sooooo proud!...still am! Apparently he has been listening, and made a really honorable choice even though it wasn't the "popular" thing to do.

I love this boy so much. He definitely drives me crazy. He knows precisely how to push my buttons when the mood strikes him. But when he looks at me with that quirky smug grin, my heart clenches up into my throat and the tears start to sting. Just once I wish that he could get a glimpse of the crazy mad love that I have for him.

Mama Kat's Writers Workshop:

Prompt#3 - We talk about mother's guilt a lot...who needs it? Describe a good mom moment!

******

25 Things I Love About Richard...

2010-07-15T19:45:00.000-05:00

Richard and I have been married almost 18 years - which sounds like forever when I hear myself say it outloud. (Maybe I really am older than I feel?) Anyway...life gets busy. The time seems to slip away from days, to weeks, to months, etc., and there are a lot of times that I forget to tell him just how much he means to me. So here it is in writing. He can take it to the bank. A sampling of the things that make my heart go pitter patter, and the fire....well, you know the rest.

I love it that he doesn't pressure me to be more than I am.

He thought I was beautiful when I was pregnant, bald, and had only one breast. *sniffle, sniffle, snort*

Richard is always trying to be the best dad that he can be.

He makes breakfast...every time. TRUE. LOVE.

White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle Cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory is always on the way home when it needs to be.

My kids adore their daddy because he lets them know that he would move mountains for them...and he backs it up.

He is a hard worker and he brings home the bacon. Woot! Woot!

Richard is a reeeeally good cook.

His sense of adventure gets me out of my comfort zone with routine.

He does laundry.

He encourages me to get out of town, go out with my friends, and take a break.

He is really good at his job, and is most happy when he knows he has helped someone and made a difference.

Richard is patient....and I require patience on a regular basis.

He gives people the benefit of the doubt - sometimes to a fault.

When I am immersed in stitching, a book, blogging, etc. he lets me hide away in my void of time and responsibility.

Richard built me a "shoe house" (that's what the kids call it) for all of my shoes to go in and keep them organized. He loves organization and order, too.

If he can't do something, he takes the time to figure it out and learn how.

My sons will be good husbands and fathers if they follow his example.

Richard is a safe driver. I never worry about safety when he is behind the wheel.

He is a people person.

Richard doesn't pretend to be something that he's not.

Richard is a sentimental soul who loves tradition.

He is already preparing ways and methods to torture the boys that come calling on his precious daughter. It's gonna be brutal!

Whether he's at work or in the middle of a project, his kids and I come first. ALWAYS.

He understands who I am, what my motivations are, and shares my dreams for the future...our future. Awww!

So, in case I haven't told you yet today - and I'm sure i did at least once - I love you, Richard!!!

*****

From Pound Puppy To Precious Pet

2010-07-15T07:16:00.001-05:00

While browsing the Today Show website I came across a blurb about pound puppies "going glam". More specifically, it discussed how the larger breed shelter dogs are typically not as quickly adopted out as the smaller breeds. This was the premis behind Today getting several of these dogs spiffed up to show them off for hopeful adoptions, etc, etc. The report also drew my attention because it's also how we found my favorite canine sidekick, Zeek!

In the years that Richard and I have been married, we have purchased, been given, and adopted a number of dogs. Most of our dogs have been a perfect-family-match, but others...not so much. Regardless, adopting is a "gamble" just like any other method of aquiring/accepting ownership of a new pet, and a decision to be taken seriously. One of the benefits of adopting a pet, is that we get to "shop" for characteristics and a temperment that most compliments the lifestyle of our family. Choosing an animal that needs a loving home and meets our criteria is a win-win solution!

We found Zeek as we were checking out a local pet adoption event outside one of the pet supercenters. And although we were just browsing, he was certainly a handsome boxer, seriously underweight, and in need of love and attention. Even better, he even met all of the requirements on our "Must Have" list - house trained, loved children, good with other animals, and already neutered...a perfect match!

There were growing pains, of course. Days when we shook our heads and wondered what possessed us to bring this mangy beast home with us. And then there have been the hundreds upon hundreds of other days when I look at his dopey little schmushy face, and know that it was one of the best decisions we've made!

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop

Prompt #1. Chose a headline from The Today Show website and write up an opinion post based on the story you chose.

*****

"Soooo Out Of The Loop, Mom"

2010-07-06T14:32:00.000-05:00

Richard and I are officially living in the stone age as far as Conner is concerned. Our ability to relate to what's current and relevant must have unknowingly passed us by.

He's been throwing out the names of music groups that I don't even recognize lately....and it's not even the name of ONE group, it's like a WHOLE LIST! To boot, the the names of the groups are just bizarre. Seriously strange. He plays the music on his pod, sings the lyrics, talks about the bands. He will even hand over his ear buds for me to listen to the songs that he thinks are really "beast", but as much as I try to keep up, I'm just not there.

This gives me flashbacks to when I was about 12ish. I had spent $.50 on a no-frills AM/FM radio from a garage sale that had probably just been discovered on someone's "junk" shelf in their garage. It was a skanky, dirty mess, but I cleaned it up and it worked like a charm. Along with the right to choose what station I wanted to listen to, I also realized that there was really great music out there! Music that I had never heard before!!! My virgin ears tasted Madonna, Foreigner, Chicago, Duran Duran, Tears for Fears, Bryan Adams....THE HAIR BANDS!!! Oh my goodness!! It was like a spiritual awakening of sorts! There was a bigger world out there that I had never known existed. A land where Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard, Dolly Parton, The Beatles, Simon & Garfunkle, etc. were inspirations...NOT the major players. It was awesome!

So here we sit, *crickets chirping* watching our son discover a whole new world of music. A world where the groups that I have listened to and loved all these years are ancient and archaic. We do still share some of the same "likes" but I am going to need to invest a little more time in broadening my music horizons.

It's scary having kids. Even scarier when you see the replay of events in your own growing up years, and remember what you thought about your parents. Scary.

*****

Remote Location Youngster

2010-07-02T21:44:00.002-05:00

At the beginning of the school year we had our hands FULL with the teenager. Every stinkin' time that I would see the school's phone number come up on my caller ID, catch my breath and grooooaaaan. It just made me crazy....okay, A LOT crazy. And it was only slightly comforting when I would hear that other mom's were experiencing the same CRAP with their boys. I got calls saying -

Conner has a major project that was due two days ago.

Conner isn't staying on task again.

Conner was shooting spit wads on the ceiling.

Conner gave the substitute teacher the finger. (a personal favorite)

Conner was caught skipping class.

Conner was kissing his girlfriend. (Seriously? We're happy that this is ALL that he's doing w/ girls at this age, lady!)

O-M-G!!!! So we decided to look around and see what was out there for teenagers. We wanted to find something that would force him to be responsible for himself. Something that would encourage him to examine himself on different levels. And finally, I wanted him to be away from home long enough that I could start to miss him and want him to come home. I'm just being honest.

Then, during a conversation sharing my woeful existence of being the mother of an idiot teenager, my BFF from Missouri suggested sending him to summer camp. Meh. I wasn't quite sure that camp was necessarily what I was looking for, but I listened to her, googled, researched, and found my solution. As a family, we decided to forgo our annual family vacation and send Conner to camp this summer instead. We will drop him off at camp in mid-July and he will be there for 25 days. Yes. TWENTY. FIVE. DAYS. Of course, since making final payment in February he's been an absolute angel - well, at least MOSTLY.

The reality of our upcoming separation is starting to set in now. In two weeks we will begin the drive to northern Arkansas to drop him off. I will hand the "keys" over to the camp counselors and drive away. He will be parent-less teen for 25 days. He will get to be his own person. He will do really fun things that I won't get to see (or take pictures of). No phone calls from home to check on him. No phone calls FROM him to let me know that he's having a swell time. He will be a remote location youngster.

I know that I will miss him....and the seed of longing is already awakening.

*****

Happiness is...

2010-07-01T14:08:00.004-05:00

When I am in a funk, have a rough day at the office, or things just aren't going my way, there are a few things that are SURE to turn my frown upside-down:

Walking into a spruced and straightened house can lift my spirits IMMEDIATELY! Especially when the tidiness is laced with the fragrance of Pine-Sol. Ahhhhh....

Dinner time at the kitchen table. Hearing about how everyone's day went, funny stories, and talking with eachother, helps me to loosen the stranglehold of my own worries or frustrations.

A new gadget, app, or supplies for a crafty project....J-O-Y!!

Retail therapy is always on the list, of course. I love new purses, jewelry, clothes, organizational supplies, a new book, nail pollish...the list is endless.

Getting a phone call from a good friend, or sitting with my friends while the kids play in cul-de-sac. The blessing of friends who share the humor in life is inmeasurable.

A new pair of flip flops. DUH!!

It makes me feel really good when Richard, the kids, or anyone for that matter, pays me a sincere compliment.

A lunch date or dinner out with my girlfriends. Much like #5, but without children...BONUS!

When I come home and my dog Zeek "greets" me at the door. He jumps around, turns in circles, "talks" to me, and makes me laugh!! I love my furry boy. :)

Getting a good report on one of my kidlets is a biggie, too. A phone call or email from a teacher or fellow parent is amazing! Even better, is watching them burst through the door at the end of the day yelling, "MOM! Guess what?..." Now THAT's the good stuff.

Houston Needs A "Pass" on Hurricane Season

2010-06-28T23:27:00.015-05:00

It's June 29th....and "Alex" is brewing in the Gulf. Not. Good. Hurricane season officially began on June 1st, but we usually don't start seeing named storms until later in July or August. Add to this, that the forecasters have predicted 3-5 big ass hurricanes for the season....and the outlook seems a little grim.

Sooooo, after surviving Hurricane Ike in 2008, I would like to submit a request to Mother Nature for a "PASS". It seems fair to say, that my fellow Houstonians and I were pretty good sports and "took one for the team" when Ike barreled though. It cut a swath of destruction from Galveston/Crystal Beach all the way to..... Well, I don't know exactly where the storm was downgraded from hurricane status, but I know that we were definitely in it's path.

My compadres are already starting to discuss necessary measures needed in order to be prepared for the duration of the season. Given the not-so-sunny forecasting predictions, I am actually ready to bite the bullet and start shopping for a generator. Seriously. We were lucky to have only lost power for TWO WEEKS after Ike, and the idea of a repeat does not give me warm fuzzies.

One of my FAVORITE hurricane supply lists, so far, is from my dad & Margaret. They stocked up on three cases of beer, a box of cigars, margarita mix, BBQ chips, lanterns, Pepsi, oatmeal cookies, and other various "fillers". I think it goes without saying, that if the weather gets nasty, they should load up and drive straight to my house!!! HAHAHA

SIDE NOTE: Because of their nasty dispositions, and inability to play nicely with others, I have unfriended the following; Alex, Bonnie, Colin, Danielle , Earl, Fiona (she is NOT a princess), Gaston, Hermine, Igor, Julia, Karl, Lisa, Matthew, Nicole, Otto, Paula, Richard, Shary, Tomas, Virginie, or Walter.

*****

Motherhood is...

2010-06-25T21:51:00.002-05:00

Motherhood is...

Flash cards. A lone soccer sock that can't be found. Hair "clippies" in my pocket. Cheerios, chicken nuggets, and fries under the car seats. HUGS! A strategically placed lego that you step on in the middle of the night. Buying a team t-shirt so your child knows you are on "their side". Birthday cakes and ice cream. Sleepless nights. A sweet little hand, wrapped around your finger right after being born. Parent/Teacher Conferences. Sippy cups with curdled milk stashed behind the couch. The sound of little feet coming down the stairs. "I love you mommy" notes on your favorite stationary. Having "the talk". Alligator tears. Report cards. Sticky door knobs. New shoes. The gift of a handful of rocks from the playground at recess. Hearing about his/her first kiss. The Tooth Fairy. Working on school projects together. Pop-Tart smeared on your shoulder (where YOU can't see it) by little hands when you were dropping them off at daycare. Itsy Bitsy Spider. Saying prayers at bedtime. Learning to ride a bike. "Over spray" on and around the toilet. Hearing your child say their first words. Crayon drawings on the walls. A smiling toddler with a turd floating in the bathtub. Pacifiers! Cozy blankets. Spelling. Being the "mean mommy" because it's the right thing to do. Slamming doors. Piles and piles of laundry. Dr. Seuss. Halloween costumes that they wait all year to dress up as. Baby lotion. Patience under fire. The first steps. Hearing your kids mimic you when they think you aren't paying attention. Little voices singing. Tub toys.

....Knowing that they will be grown before you know it.

*****

Florence Nightingale

2010-06-23T22:30:00.010-05:00

...add to the list that I am NOT Florence Nightingale, either.

This afternoon the chain on Conner's bike came off as he was riding home from the pool. He went over the handle bars and was hurt pretty badly - lots of "surface damage" but no broken bones or lacerations. Luckily, a good samaritan noticed the accident as he was driving by and brought Conner home.

The sight of blood has always made me cringe, but somehow when my kids are hurt, I manage to find the where-with-all to hold myself together and stay calm. The catch, for me, comes when they have sores, wounds, or "boo-boos" that are oozy and weepy. *yikes* So when Conner gets out of this nice man's truck today and I see blood all down his side, I put on my game face and went to work. It wasn't a professional mending job, but all of the road rash got rinsed, cleaned, and bandaged.

Fast forward.... On our way home from dinner tonight, we stopped at the pharmacy and I bought a bag FULL of non-stick gauze pads and bandages. I was feeling pretty good about about my bag-o-kid-fixing supplies, and was ready to get home, inspect, reclean, and rebandage...... Well, that was the plan at least. *GULP* As soon as his shirt came off and I saw the weepy, messy bandages, it was all over but the smelling salts. It took mere SECONDS for me to start feeling lightheaded. Suddenly dinner wasn't sitting so well - threatening to make an encore appearance. Broke out in a cold sweat. It was CRAZY!! Even my feeble attempts to breathe deeply, lean against the counter, sit on the couch....nothing worked to quell the nausea. In the end, I finally just had to go lay down on the bed....completely unable to contribute....USELESS.

Of course, Richard, being the comic that he is, couldn't pass up the opportunity to come lean up against the bed and fan himself like he was going to pass out and tease me. HAHAHAHA!!! Stinker. :)

Conner will probably hurt for several days, but he has already asked to go hang out at the skating rink with his friends on Friday. How do kids do it?!? Just the THOUGHT of rollerskating so soon after wrecking on his bike makes ME hurt. Oh well, he can always call if he wants to be picked up early, right?

*****

Happy Hour!

2010-06-22T13:51:00.008-05:00

How can I say "no" when Abby gives her I-can't-take-any-more-of-this-nonsense look, and says, "Can we pleeeease go to happy hour today, Momma?" It's as though she's channeling her future 35ish year old self. The self that has kids, a job, housework begging for attention, wishing for a nap, and she just needs an escape.... Or maybe those are just my sentiments that I see mirrored on her face? I don't know, but Happy Hour at the Sonic Drive-In is fixin' to make my afternoon!!

Make mine a Route 44 Cherry Limeade with extra lime, pretty please?

*****

Massage: Therapeutic or Torture?

2010-06-18T16:52:00.012-05:00

Going to get a massage is one of my favorite personal indulgences, plain and simple. The massage I got this afternoon, however, makes me wonder if I am really in search of relaxation for the body and mind, or maybe the correct term might be "a masochist". Hmmm....something to think about.

When I met my therapist today, she was a tiny little Asian lady who is probably only 90lbs soaking wet with all of her clothes on, and a few inches shorter than I am. Got a visual on this? Yep, she was a tiny little sprout, and it kinda made me a little leery to be honest. When I go to get a massage - I want a goooooood massage! At this point it would have been in very poor taste to question her ability, though, since I had already upgraded my massage to the aromatherapy package AND closed out my tab along with tip. :) Once in the room "Annie" asks me if I have any particular areas that are bothering me, and I remarked that my lower back had really been hurting...blah, blah, blah.... Famous. Last. Words.

Annie starts me out face down for my two hour massage, and gets right to work on my back. She ruuuubs my back, kneads the knots, and WOW, we are off to a GREAT start. Annie's easing the pain out of my lower back, the tension is starting to go away, relaxation is starting to take over, my breathing is good, the hint of dozing off is just a few minutes away. And then...oh dear Lord....THEN she starts in on my hind end. There's really no other way to describe the pain. She found every nerve ending, every pressure point, every area that DIDN'T hurt and PULVERIZED THE LIVING HELL OUT OF IT!!! Apparently when I said lower back, she thought I meant MY ASS, and went about, skillfully, trying to relieve any discomfort? HAHAHAHA!! Discomfort? WHAT A JOKE! For a minute there I was giving serious thought to calling a personal foul, telling "Annie" to get off my butt (literally), and find new territory to assault on SOMEONE ELSE. If I hadn't had my face wedged into the little cushiony spot, I would have sworn that she had her elbow jammed in my butt cheek with her feet planted firmly on the wall in a pseudo crouching-tiger-hidden-dragon-type ninja move. You get the picture...she's horizontal in the air, feet in a racing stance on the wall, supported only by her needle-like elbow, and of course, my butt cheek is her platform.

By the time Annie moved her focus to my legs, at least I think it was my legs - I can't exactly remember, the knots were returning in my lower back, and my feet were starting to cramp from clenching my toes. In an effort not to come flying off of the table, I intently focused on the two hour mark. This feeling/terror/fear is reminiscent of my anticipation concerning childbirth; knowing that what's happening is going to hurt like CRAZY, but it will end at some point. Or at least that's what you tell yourself when you are restraining yourself from ripping the hair out of your husband's head for doing "this thing" to you, in the middle of a beastly contraction. Oh wait...wrong topic! Anyway, I am sure that in a day or two I will grab a little mirror to get a glimpse of the "rear view", only to find that I look like someone used me as target practice with a paint ball gun at close range.

Moral of the story: A serious can of "Whoop Ass" can come out of the smallest, most unseemingly, able packages. Also a classic blunder of judging a book by it's cover.

*****

Spring Chickens For Sale

2010-06-17T22:29:00.005-05:00

Today is my birthday, and I must admit that the aging process does not give me the excitement or warm fuzzies that it did when I was in my teens, 20's, or even early 30's. The past few days, in particular, have reminded me that I am every bit of 38 years old....and no spring chicken.

Remember the cute little story that your mother probably read to you in preschool called "Granny's Glasses"? The story about how Granny wants to read a story to her grandkids but she can't find her glasses....looks high and low....here and there.....and it ends up that her spectacles have been perched on her head all along. Remember the story? Well, here's my version:

I had had a loooooong day with the kids, we had played for HOURS at the pool with friends, went out to eat, got a few things done around the house, and was completely exhausted. So I did what I do every night, I took a nice hot bath....pretty standard stuff. Afterwards, I started piddling around the house, straightening up, putting things away, etc. THAT is when *light bulb* I realized that I needed to find my glasses! I retraced my steps and looked in all of the usual places. They weren't sitting next to the bathtub, so I checked the shelves in my closet...dead end. Searched the kitchen...nope. The laundry room....a bust. So I decide to retrace my steps, AGAIN, just in case. Panic was starting to set in, was getting a little worked up, almost in tears, wondering what I would do if I couldn't find my only pair of glasses. As I am patting down the bed in case my glasses had fallen into the folds of the fluffy comforter, Richard asks me what I'm doing. I whine about how I've been looking everywhere but can't find my glasses....to which he replies, "They're on your face." And just like any complete idiot would do, I reach up and feel that, YES, my glasses are in fact right on my face! Perched on my nose. Lifting the visual fog, so that I could retrace my steps. Doing their job. Helping me see.....but not fixing the dumb. Grrrrrr.

Richard said he's keeping this one in his arsenal for future use. :)

*****

Card Shark

2010-06-07T20:40:00.006-05:00

Growing up, my family spent a lot of evenings playing games together. We enjoyed games like Go Fish, Old Maid, UNO, Battle, as well as a multitude of various other board games. One of the stand out favorites was Memory. Just the mention of this game probably makes my Dad cringe and start to twitch. *chuckle* The most enjoyable part of playing Memory, was when my brother Nathan would step up to the table and face off with my dad. Two words - brutal and beatings. *outburst of laughter* Of all the kids, Nathan was the Memory Master, and he owned almost every game that he played with us. Over time, and numerous beatings, my dad (figuratively speaking) took his toys and went home. He would not play Memory with Nathan....period. *laughing too hard - must catch breath*

This smattering of memories kept popping up in my mind tonight as I was getting SLAUGHTERED at Memory by my youngest. *grimace* Every time Luc would get a match he would giggle and gloat....not too surprising, since he's almost seven with a competitive streak a mile wide. But when I would get a match, WOW, what a fuss! Anyway, he beat me twice (horribly), before I finally turned him loose on his sister for the next game. :)

Lesson learned: Growing up, it feels A-MAZ-ING to beat the snot out of your parents at games. As a parent, you reflect back on those cocky little displays of sweet, sweet victory when you were a child, and smile humbly as your child stands up from the coffee table to do the John Travolta moves from Saturday Night Fever. Rock it Lucas, and enjoy the victory lap!

The Good Lord Knew

2010-06-06T17:03:00.005-05:00

About late April to mid May, I start to get a little out of sorts as the temperature starts to rise. There always happens to be one particular day (for me), when summer becomes a reality instead of an anticipation. It's the day that I step out of my house and immediately start to sweat from every single pore in my body. Not just a mere glistening, or steady prespiration after working in the yard, we're talking sweat so profuse that even your knee caps start to feel icky! I LOATHE THIS DAY. And, although I know that God is always present in our lives, this day reaffirms that He knows me personally, and knows my strengths and weaknesses.

He knew that I would not fare well as a pioneer woman. Countless hours, traveling in a covered wagon acrossed the vast wilderness of the western United States without air conditioning (or a jack for my PDA)? Ummmm, NO.

He knew that I would be unbearable if I had to sleep through summer nights without a fan set on the highest speed AND air conditioning. If momma's hot when I wake up, it ain't pretty!!

AND, He knew that my sanity (and the sanity of those around me) would require a nice bubble bath at the conclusion of a blisteringly hot day. Sweat is the enemy.

All this being said, summer lasts about six months in Houston. The hottest months of the season are July and August, Lord help me, and we are only part way into June. We have lived in the Houston area for almost 18 years, and every year I get gripey to move away when summer rears it's ugly head again....this year is no exception. When we got home from hanging out at the neighborhood pool this afternoon, I told Richard that I was going to give serious consideration to any marriage proposals from north and west of Texas. Please send resumes and serious offers to 1-800-COOL-BRZ.

*****

Yearbook 411

2010-06-01T17:07:00.009-05:00

(This installment could also be titled, "Boys vs. Girls")

Lastnight, as I was going through the kids' backpacks and sorting through the year-end piles of "send home" workbooks and papers, Abby pulled out her yearbook. Since the yearbooks had just been distributed the same day, she was dying to sit and methodically examine every page. It was fun to see all of the great photos of school activites and all of their cute little friends. As we were going through each grade, from 4th to Kinder, I also got a play by play of the "who's who" at our elementary school. The following were some of my favorites...

"**** and **** are my bestest friends EEEEEVER."

"She thinks that she is so great, but she is really mean, and no one likes her."

"He is nice."

"She was soooo mean to ****, and s0 I am not friends with her anymore either."

"I love her hair."

"She moved to another school."

"I like to play with her at recess."

"He is reeeeally bad and gets in trouble all of the time."

"I want to play with her this summer."

"She used to be friends with ****, but NOT anymore."

"He is super smart."

"Lucas looks so silly [in this picture]."

"She always asks me to buy her a cookie at the cafeteria on MY lunch account, but she never pays me back."

.....And the list goes on. Every page had a commentary, and it was very enlightening.

On the flip side: As Lucas took his turn to sit next to me and review the "history pages" of the 2009-10 school year, there were a just a few comments, here and there, but nothing compared to the dirt that his sister had dished. His highlights were....

"There is ****."

"Oh! There is ****, I play with him on the playground."

"There is ****, he is in Ms.****'s class this year."

"There is ****."

"It was SO cold on the snow day. **** had huge gloves on."

.....Just stating the facts, no details or embellishments.

GOTTA LOVE IT!!!

*****

"Awesome" Season

2010-05-27T15:39:00.034-05:00

Supporting the theory that Lucas lives out of the box, consider this:

When we got our first correspondence from Lucas' t-ball coach, it included basic information, upcoming events, and a request for info about skill level, which side the boy throws & hits from, etc. Pretty self explanatory stuff. One of the crucial tidbits included on the list was, "What name does your son want monogrammed onto his hat?" After excitedly typing out all of my responses, I started to second guess one of my answers and decided to ask the "baller" himself. This is how it went down:

Me: "Hey Luc, what name do you want on your ball cap?"

Luc: "Whaaaaat?"

Me: "Your BASEball cap!? What name do you want on it?"

Luc: "Oh. Just 'Awesome'".

Me: "Seriously. What name do you want on your cap? Luc? Lucas? What do you want?"

Luc: "I told you, I want it to say 'Awesome'"

In the end, I just laughed the conversation off as a silly six-year-old moment, kept the response email in my "drafts" folder, and decided to let some time pass so that he could think it over and decide what he really wanted on his hat. A few hours later, we revisited the topic and this is what he chose...

Apparently it wasn't just a fleeting fancy, but a literal label of his self worth and confidence. He never waivered in his decision, or seriously considered other options. :) While all of the other kids had their first names proudly displayed on their ball caps....Lucas had a label, an attitude, a description, an EXPECTATION.

Richard contributed by being the Dugout Coach for the team. The dugout coach in t-ball is the the coaching equivalent of throwing 12 golf balls into a tile shower and attempting to maintain order and decorum. NOT EASY, but extremely amusing to those of us who were not doing the job.

The A's finished the season by ranking 2nd in the T-Ball American League Championships! WAY TO GO A's!!!

Side Note: Props to this kids' parents for raising a confident, well adjusted individual!

(Why, thank you!)

*****

Golf Hall of Fame Nominee

2010-05-21T21:16:00.002-05:00

Today something amazing happened...Conner made the Oak Ridge High School Golf Team!! GO WAR EAGLES!!

I think Conner got his first set of Fisher Price golf clubs for his 1st birthday, and has loved to hit the little white ball ever since. When Richard started getting actual golf clubs cut down and resized to fit him, Conner's favorite club was his "whacker" (a driver/wood). Our first house had an enormous yard, and one of the things that he loved to do was to get his whacker and chase a ball around the yard. He would walk up to the ball and hit it. Run over to where it landed, square up, and hit it again. Hop around, make silly noises while finding where the ball had landed, square up and then hit it again.

Over time he has played countless rounds of golf, and I don't even know how many buckets of balls he has hit at the driving range. A lot of other kids play golf, love the sport, and have their own aspirations of being the next Tiger Woods. But what makes this so special for me, is that this is something that Conner has always loved, and it's something that he and his dad have enjoyed doing together. Regardless of future successes or failures, Conner hit a hole-in-one today!

Congrats on making the team, son! Now, it's time for your daddy to pony up on the promise of getting you a new set of clubs. cha-ching!

*****

Unloading the dishwasher should be easy, right?

2010-05-19T18:50:00.005-05:00

This afternoon I asked Lucas to clean out the dishwasher, which seems like it would be an easy enough task, right? Not so fast! At the same time Luc was unloading, I was in "busy mode" - working on dinner, playing on the computer, signing homework folders, etc. When I finally glanced up to check on his progress, boy was I surprised! He had stacks of plates, glasses stacked by size and color, baking dishes, the whole nine yards on the counters and still not put in the cabinets. Not only were the dishes still out on display, but apparently he had decided that it's necessary to take the bottom rack of the dishwasher completely out of the unit, in order to properly unload the top rack. ....WHAT?!?

~~~~~~~~~

Dear Lucas,

Please take a bow, young man. Seeing my kitchen methodically torn apart and cleaned at the same time was AMAZING! Your approach to unloading the dishwasher has been an enlightening experience. It also makes me wonder if, one day, I will send you to scrub bathrooms only to find that you have removed the toilet lids and disassembled the faucet hardware.

Signed,

Your Loving Mother

*****

I Never Said That I Was June Cleaver

Secret Santa Shop

My Alien Teenager; The Wheels are Falling Off

Needed: Inspiration & Will Power

Broken Trust

Never Judge a Nerd

Failing Grades

Getting My PURGE On

School SUCKS!

Driver's Ed Starts Tomorrow *gulp*

Where Did the Time Go?

RSVP's - Are They A Thing Of The Past? You Decide

Burnt Out....Schmurnt Out... Blah Blah Blah

When The Tooth Fairy FAILS

Wordful Wednesday: Halloween

Chasing the Little White Ball

The Other Side of the Coin

The Wooden Spoon Incident

Saturday Morning Silliness

Car Salesmen Continue to EARN Their Reputation

Skid Marks, a Sharpie, and Other Ramblings

Hunting For Wabbits!

Stop The Clock!!

Artistic Interpretation At It's Finest

I Hear Him Crying

Aye, Me Lucky Charms!

Watching My Kids Grow Up Is As Comfortable As Having A Rock In My Shoe

Weaving Golden Threads of Inspiration

The Dress Code Debacle

Life's Just Not The Same After Kids

To Have and To Hold? REALLY!?!

Cell Phone Dead Zone

Sand, Surf & SHARKS

My Mismatched Missy

Getting to Know You - 8/29/10

Have Template Envy - Seeking Treatment

CORN-a-MOPE-ia....Not Cornucopia

The Definition of Quiet

The Countdown to the Tardy Bell

Heaven = Back To School

Parent-Teacher Conference

I've Been A Very Bad Girl

I'd Like To Thank The Academy...

Fighting, Birthing, Fighting....& Now WRITING!

Lt. Jim Dangle Finally Caught Me (Speeding Ticket)

Open Mouth...Insert Cowgirl Boot

She's Got CATtitude

Change In Your Pocket? Or Change For Good?

Diagnosis: Swimmers Ear

What do get when you combine GAS and SLUSHES?

Mr. Smoochy Cries "FOUL!"

25 Things I Love About Richard...

From Pound Puppy To Precious Pet

"Soooo Out Of The Loop, Mom"

Remote Location Youngster

Happiness is...

Houston Needs A "Pass" on Hurricane Season

Motherhood is...

Florence Nightingale

Happy Hour!

Massage: Therapeutic or Torture?

Spring Chickens For Sale

Card Shark

The Good Lord Knew

Yearbook 411

"Awesome" Season

Golf Hall of Fame Nominee

Unloading the dishwasher should be easy, right?

Driver's Ed Starts Tomorrow gulp